


Of Bats and Katanas

by ScarletxNight



Category: GOT7, JJ Project, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Betrayal, Dystopia, Family Feels, Fights, Gen, Kim brothers, Loss, Verbal Fights, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, bad tempers, jaebeom and youngjae brothers, jinyoung mad scientist?, mark and yugyeom brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28070292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletxNight/pseuds/ScarletxNight
Summary: It has been 10 years since Zeta or how BamBam would say 'a freakin zombie apocalypse' happened. Kim Yugyeom is 17 and wishes for a more adventrous life and not to live in the shadow of his successful and popular elder brother Mark Tuan.The brothers are both hot tempered by nature. Add some zombies, hunting parties thrown by high schoolers and lots of weapons and chaos is more than expected.Still, there seems to be more than Yugyeom thought possible when everything starts to go downhill for not just the brothers but their weirdly constructed family of friends and childhood friends.Conspiracies arise.
Relationships: BamBam & Choi Youngjae & Im Jaebum & Kim Yugyeom & Park Jinyoung & Mark Tuan & Jackson Wang, Choi Youngjae & Im Jaebum | JB, Choi Youngjae & Kim Yugyeom, Choi Youngjae & Park Jinyoung, Im Jaebum | JB & Park Jinyoung, Kim Yugyeom & Mark Tuan, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam & Kim Yugyeom
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Where we start

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> this is a series of 6 parts and originally posted on Got7 amino. The layout is way prettier there, so feel free to check it out, if you want to :)
> 
> The main story is completed but I have at least 4 side stories/sequels planned which will deepen the understanding of the relationships between two characters each and a final epilogue.

_ Warnings: apocalyptic au, poverty, zombies, some cursing (nothing graphic, just a heads up!) _

**_Ten years & five months A.Z. (after Zeta)_ **

Yugyeom was 17, when he expressed his wish for the first time aloud: “I want to become a Guardian as well.” It was only a few minutes past 8AM but Mark had been sitting, fully uniformed and armored to go out any moment, at the kitchen table. Yugyeom could see the coffee he was sipping and across from him a plate with an egg, some spinach and potatoes, waiting for Yugyeom to eat his breakfast. His older brother didn’t even look up from his notebook, which contained all his assignments and notes. His most prized possession next to his katana, hanging at his side.

“Your food is getting cold, Gyeom.” His voice just above a whisper, not even acknowledging the younger had said anything, making Yugyeom’s anger boil up as he hit the top of the table with his flat hand. He finally got a reaction, when Mark looked up from his mug, his eyes glinting dangerously.  _ Good, be angry, be loud and yell, it was still better than getting only a nod or being ignored like usual.  _ ”I said I want to become a Guardian. You already said no, when I was 14 and now I am asking again since I am old enough to join the troops already.” His older brother by eight years shook his head with a short: “No.” With that he stood up and reached out a hand to ruffle Yugyeom’s hair, like he always did before leaving for his work.

This time, Yugyeom ducked, missing the hand only by an inch as he stepped back, face deep red in anger: “You have also said no, when I asked you two months ago for a weapon. A gun or a sword, you wouldn’t even let me get a bat, if I hadn’t promised it was for self defence and playing with Bam and the others!” Mark’s hand had stopped in the air, where his baby brother’s head had only been a second before. He sighed heavily as he clenched his hand into a fist to drown his own anger bubbling up. They surely had the same bad temper.

”I said ‘no’ and that’s it. I am the person in charge of you and I won’t allow it. Discussion over, now eat your breakfast and get to school before-” “No!” Mark’s brow twitched at the outburst, his face becoming overshadowed by anger slowly but steadily. He hated being interrupted or interrupting others. It was one of the worst forms of disrespect. Yugyeom resisted the urge to step back, his survival instinct kicking in to get him moving. Mark had never raised his hand against his younger brother, only answering with patience and adoration even. Now he was looking at Yugyeom, like he was about to slap him across the face for his disrespect. They were everything of family, they both had left but the age difference and Mark’s overprotectiveness had started to taste bitter on Yugyeom’s tongue for years now.

_**He wasn’t his father.** _

The sentence hit the older one like a hard slap, making him close his eyes as he took short breaths through his nose. His eyes were blazing, when he opened them, making a shiver run down Yugyeom’s back. His voice was low but he could have yelled at the top of his lungs and it would have been less scary. “Yeah, I know. I am not your father but I take care of you, protect you, get the food on the table for you. Yeah, I am not your mother either but I make time for you, listen to you and do my best to keep you happy and healthy in a world like this. So, why? By God, why would you ever want to become a soldier or even worse: live like me? Being a Guardian is a nice title for someone who goes out there. Beyond the walls and fences. Beyond the known to kill and survive a day longer. This is no grace or mercy, little brother. This is certain death at some point.”

Yugyeom’s mouth was dry, his gaze wavering as he finally looked down notwithstanding his brother’s sharp eyes and harsh words. There was a long silence, until Mark sighed and raised his hand again, before letting it drop finally. He walked towards the door, when he stopped one last time: “‘Don’t promise, just prove.’ That’s what your father, our father, would have said. Prove it by studying hard, training and becoming stronger. Prove it by learning to do your own meals, taking care of yourself, becoming independent. Being mature. Being better than someone like me.” The door fell into its lock with a click but sounding final in the quiet little house of theirs.

Yugyeom didn’t know how long he stood there in the middle of their kitchen, looking out the window towards the far fence. It didn’t matter in which direction he would have looked anyways, they were surrounded by a thick fence on all sides. Sector B, as they had been named after the first outbreak panic, had receded and the responsible ones had formed different safe zones, sectors. Wide areas that were clean and not hit by the virus outbreak in the first year. Yugyeom could barely remember what was only in school textbooks now. Screams and heat were all that had stayed with him years later. A dull reminder of pain, he couldn’t feel after nearly ten years. About 40% of the population had fallen victim to what was now called Zeta or the zombie apocalypse how BamBam reminded him too often.

What an irony, that something so well known in books, tv and movies was suddenly their reality. Zombies, undead, living corpses, no matter what they were called by the different sectors and politicians, it would never change what they lastly were: fallen humans. People long gone and now out there to put their rotting teeth through the living flesh of their own specimen. How had they come to this? The theories and conspiracies were too many to count: A secret experiment of the government gone wrong. A lethal virus with no cure escaped from some laboratory. A deadly bio-weapon of some crazy government leader to kill a whole population. Or more simple ones like some cults and religions believing it was the wrath of God or the revenge of mother nature to punish them for their thoughtless destruction of the earth and morals.

Most didn’t care about reasons though, just like Yugyeom or even Mark. It was more important to stay alive and on track with the daily struggles than to work out some century old theories and conspiracies, that would change nothing in the end. BamBam was a whole other case, wanting to know every detail, so Yugyeom wasn’t surprised at all, when a loud knocking nearly burst their front door. He refocused his eyes on the door and then to the clock on the wall, shoot. If not for BamBam, he would have been late for school. Damn it.

With an annoyed groan, Yugyeom grabbed his bag and went for the door, just to be greeted by a smug faced BamBam and a scolding Youngjae: “We shouldn’t be this loud, what if Mark-hyung-” Yugyeom snapped at the name, before he could stop himself: “He left already. Let’s go.” Both boys blinked at him in surprise at his sour mood but didn’t comment, knowing better than to step between these two bad tempered brothers. “Gyeom, do I smell spinach and eggs?” BamBam was nearly drooling with glazed over eyes. Yugyeom was thrown back by the sudden change and only stuttered: “Y-yeah, it was supposed to be my breakfast but I lost my appetite. Why?”

Youngjae gave him a meaningful look, before he sighed at Yugyeom’s oblivion: “Would be a waste to just leave it, no? We could eat it on our way?” If Yugyeom hadn’t been so used to hiding his embarrassment, he would have been read like a tomato already. Of course, how could he be such a fool…? He gave a short nod, before diving back into the kitchen and used a paper plate to pack the cold but untouched breakfast, a paper towel to cover it. He shoved it right at BamBam as he turned around to close the door behind them, grabbing his ID card and throwing it over his head. “I have no appetite but Youngjae is right, it would be a waste to just leave it and Hyung will probably not even be back until tonight.”

BamBam gave him a sheepish grin, before unpacking and offering Youngjae the plate but he shook his head, before whistling through his teeth: “Wow, you rich kid.You have paper towels? Heard they are short on them in half of the sectors in the news yesterday, you sure this is okay?” Yugyeom just shrugged his shoulders: “It’s fine, Hyung doesn’t mind.” When he hadn’t even thought about it. Were they really hard to come by at the moment? Why didn’t Mark mention it, when he listened to the news every day? Did he really not care at all? It was moments like these, Yugyeom was envious of Youngjae, who was only a year older than him but so much more mature than him and BamBam combined. He was the kind of responsible younger brother anyone would have wanted.

Yugyeom stole a side glance at BamBam, who was shoveling food into his mouth, he glanced back, chewing and swallowing: “What, have you changed your mind, you want some?” Yugyeom shook his head, chuckling: “No, you just look like a hamster.” BamBam glared at him for a split second before he went back to his food, nearly gone by now. Yugyeom felt a pang of guilt, when he had watched him but he knew better than to pity his best friend. BamBam’s family was one of the few that were from Sector F, which had nearly been overrun by undead some years ago. In order to save as many as possible, the population had been scattered to the other safer sectors like B or C.

It had saved them from the fear of being overrun or killed but they had lost everything back then. It had been an emergency evacuation, which meant not more than a few necessities and to start all over again, where they would end up. Fortunately, BamBam’ mother was a great cook and found work right away in one of the six restaurants of the sector. Still, feeding three children alone was a hard job for any person. “How’s the family?” BamBam swallowed the last bits before grinning: “Doing good, Baby will start high school next year and Beer will probably follow Bank to become a Guardian.” Yugyeom clenched his fists, smiling: “Good to hear.”

BamBam threw an arm over Yugyeom’s shoulders, looking at Youngjae “What’s up at yours? How is your brother doing with-” Yugyeom shoved his elbow into his ribs before he could finish, earning a groan: “Ugh, I just ate breakfast, Yugs!” The younger ignored him watching the frown on Youngjae’s face fading faster than normal. He shook his head with a faint smile: “He is fine, I think. I don’t know. I thought three months would be enough to get him back on track but he spends most of his time trying to get Jinyoung to step out of his new room. He does his chores, leaves for assignments, when it’s really necessary but doesn’t stay away longer than a night. He looks really tired.” He sighed even deeper, his shoulders slumping.

Yugyeom had a good grasp of what was going on at Youngjae’s since Jaebeom, his elder brother and only family, was Mark’s best friend and longtime partner for most of his jobs. They had grown up together with Jinyoung, who was only two years younger than them and had studied science instead of becoming a Guardian or soldier. Four months ago though, their lives had been overthrown, when one of the fences in the east had been brought down by a bad storm in the night. Mark and Jaebeom had been gone for two days by then, their return unknown. It was unfortunate that three families were living in that corner at that time, one of them Jinyoung’s.

It had been the worst massacre since the establishment of Sector B. Three families dead, covered in their own blood, when the first Guardians and medics arrived. Yugyeom could still remember the faces of Jaebeom and Mark, who had returned in less than four hours but it had been too late. Jaebeom had taken Jinyoung in without hesitating. Giving him his own room and providing for him and his brother like he was family. Still, Jinyoung had never been the same again. Yugyeom remembered starting a fight only two weeks ago, because someone in his school had referred to Jinyoung as ‘the mad scientist’ as a joke. The broken nose had not been that funny afterwards.

Mark had scolded him in front of the supervisor, taking him straight home, when on the way back, he had stopped his motorbike and turned around, sighing: “You know, I don’t support you going around breaking noses, just because Jaebeom taught you some moves but...thank you. I am glad you still remember, we are all family. Us, Jaebeom and Youngjae, Jinyoung and even your annoying BamBam.” The rest of the day had been spent in the backyard of Jaebeom’s house, playing and eating. Yugyeom had been relieved to see that Jinyoung had come down, silently joining them in a corner of the laid out mat.

There was only one established school in Sector B. It was a weird mixture of old and modern, like the architects couldn’t decide to leave the past behind or honor it by adding jammed lockers like in those old teenage movies. Perfect. “Have you heard?” Yugyeom shook his head: “Bam, every time you ask this we say no. You know why? Because if there is something going on, you are always the first to hear and pry, so spit it out.” Youngjae groaned, head in hands as he stared at the D on his last chemistry papers. BamBam ignored him, leaning over the table closer to his friends.

”Listen, you losers! Chan throws a VIP hunting party this weekend. His parents are out of the sector, some business stuff, will take them the whole weekend. You know Chan? His parents are super rich with a yard that goes until the eastern fences. Private property: no troops close by. Friday night 9PM at the Bang’s. Only invited parties. No Guardians.”

Yugyeom’s eyes looked suspiciously at him, his heart speeding up already though: “And how do you plan to get to that VIP thing? No, forget that. Mark and Jaebeom are gonna kill us and your mum will disown you.” Youngjae sighed in relief: “Good thing, I am not the only one with a functioning brain this time. Yuggie is right, it’s crazy and dangerous. This is no game. This is supposed to be a job for troops or Guardians, not high schoolers throwing a party, we-”

To Youngjae’s surprise, it was Yugyeom, who interrupted him suddenly, voice clear: ”Let’s do it, I bet you already have the invitations, right Bam?” His best friend beamed back, pulling three chips from his pockets, they were engraved with the letters “CB97”, reflective in the sunlight.

Yugyeom’s eyes were ignited at once as Youngjae’s words made Mark’s words from the morning resurface. He wanted to be a Guardian. He could be a Guardian.

_ "Don't promise, just prove." _

Oh, he would prove him just right.


	2. Who we are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Disobedience causes bad ideas and bad ideas lead to chaos and danger." - Mark Tuan

"I still think this is a bad idea. A really bad one. A deadly one. We are so dead. Oh God-" BamBam groaned loudly trying to kick Youngjae from the side but he was a tad faster than him like often. Yugyeom ignored the two as they all sat at the kitchen table in Jaebeom and Youngjae's house. Youngjae sighed once again: "Yugyeom-ah, I am not sure what to do...Hyung practically ordered me to stay at home while he is gone."

Yugyeom was still deep in thoughts. He wasn't stupid, of course he had his own reservations about their plan to join Chan's hunting party in less than two hours but then again he wanted to prove he was an adult, who could make his own decisions. Youngjae's voice of reason was an annoying thorn at the moment now though. If they wanted to pull this off, they had to be on the same boat. All three of them.

"Why though?" His voice was verging on mocking, when he spoke up suddenly. Youngjae furrowed his brows: "Why? Maybe because it's dangerous to run around alone? Blackouts and fence failures are seldom but they do happen and being somewhere outside at such a moment at night could be deadly. You know that. I mean Jinyoung-" Yugyeom was only waiting for the name to fall, so he could attack where he knew hurt the most.

Yugyeom hated himself for doing this to his friend but then again, he wasn't the only one who had to prove he was fine without his big Guardian brother. “Jinyoung, huh? Sounds more plausible now. I mean, he was never this adamant for you to stay at home for a whole weekend before.” It was a lie but Youngjae pressed his lips into a thin line, he wasn’t one to question his elder brother’s actions easily. His next words were low, nearly a threat: “Careful, Kim. I don’t want to throw you out of my house or kick your ass at this hour, what will the neighbors think?” Okay, maybe it was an actual threat, Yugyeom didn’t stop though. He went in for the killing blow: “Did Jaebeom even ask about school or anything else in your life lately? He was always the first to ask. Now what? Does he even know that you will probably fail chemistry this semester? I bet he doesn’t even care currently since Jinyoungie is taking all of his time and attention.”

Youngjae jumped up, making BamBam flinch, who had fidgeted at the exchange of his friends, rendered speechless for probably the first time in his life. His chair scraped over the kitchen floor, Yugyeom ready to take his anger, if necessary. The hunting party was nearly forgotten now, Yugyeom wanting just to get his frustrations out. “You think you are smart? I know what you are planning and trying to get me boiling won’t do you any good. Let’s go to this damn party, grab your stuff, and afterwards I will kick your ass, Kim. Mark my words.” BamBam was the first to exhale: “The hell? You guys scared me! But whatever, Youngjae agreed, so party it is.” And as easily as that, they departed. Surprisingly, it was Yugyeom, who hesitated, when they left the house, making sure the door was locked tightly.

Yugyeom felt bad for using Jinyoung as the bad guy since he had always loved the older. It was Jinyoung, who comforted or took care of him, when Mark couldn’t or didn’t want to. He swallowed the bitterness, grabbing his worn and sturdy bat as well as his small backpack with necessities, he surely wouldn’t need but then again, he was Mark’s brother. Planning and considering all options was flowing through him like the blood in his veins. They arrived some minutes before the actual start, handing their chips to Felix, one of Chan’s best friends, who took them along and towards the fence in the backyard. Youngjae whispered back: “Curious. The fences look sturdier around here, don’t you think?” BamBam nodded solemnly, looking around the wide field.

Yugyeom fixed his eyes on Chan, who let out a low whistle, when spotting them: “Well, well. Who would have thought Bam actually got you two to join? I mean you are Lim and Tuan’s brothers. Big footsteps to step into, no?” Yugyeom normally liked carefree characters like Chan but then again he was blunt and direct with his words, making one clench their teeth at them. Yugyeom nodded once: “So, what? Scared we will snatch all the kills from you chaebols? Hope that silver sword of yours is good for something, Bang.” He could hear some astonished breaths as well as snickering, when Chan furrowed his brows: “Whoa, no need to be so sensitive, bro. We are here to have some fun, not to fight each other.”

BamBam put a hand on Yugyeom’s shoulder, making him swallow his next comeback, nodding: “Yeah, right. You promised this party to be lit, so how about starting now?” With some clamouring and whispering, Chan and a few of his close friends, unlocked the thick lock and pulled the bolts, the fence gate wide enough for at least three of them to enter at once. “So, lads. This is the start point. You have one hour to take down as many as you can. The cages had been opened already, so tread carefully. Flashlights are a must, no flashlight, no party. Got it?” There was a lazy chorus of “Yes, sir” and “Come on, man!” before Chan pushed the gate open completely.

\----------------------------

_ Later. _

"DAMN!" BamBam smashed his dagger through the lithe and rotting body, the noise of metal meeting bones and flesh resounding around him. His brow was bleeding slightly, his ears ringing from the rush of adrenaline. He used his thick boots to push the dead body away from him as his eyes scanned the area. The party had been lit, literally. A genius, older than them had the great idea to start a fire on one side of the backyard to distract and lead most of the undead into the direction.

Unlike his expectations, undead bodies didn't seem to favor fire and smoke just like living people. Even worse, they went livid with the heat and smell of burning flesh as they started to screech inhumanely and scramble through the treelines, starting chaos. BamBam had heard the first human screams from the southern treelines, when the flames started to lick their way towards them. More screams and fighting as everyone tried to get away, the hunting goal forgotten. To top it off, the fire had turned the woods into a mess of heat and burning wood, cutting off paths and routes for all of them. Somewhere along the lines BamBam had lost sight of Yugyeom and Youngjae altogether, being thrown into one fight after another.

BamBam took a hushed breath, wiping the back of his hand over the gash on his eyebrow, cursing. Luckily, it was just a cut from one of the tree branches, when he had ducked away from an attack but it stung and even worse: bait. He didn't need Hwang's 001 lecture to know, that blood was a great way to lure and attract undead, therefore bandaids and bandages were a necessity he didn't have on hand. With another colorful curse, he straightened his back trying to make sense of his surroundings. Chan seemed long gone, hopefully not dead underneath the piling bodies…"Bam-ah!" His head snapped to the left where Yugyeom was fighting two zombies off at once, face grim.

BamBam's face lighted up at the voice of his best friend as he rushed over, climbing over tree and body parts, not looking too closely. Only as he came closer, did he take in the full scene, letting out another curse in more than one language, his mother would have beaten him up for. Youngjae was leaning on his sword, the side of his leg a dark stain, face dark. BamBam jumped over the next obstacles, throwing a knife from his belt at one of the creatures advancing on Yugyeom with precision, hitting the back of its neck. Yugyeom was shielding Youngjae with his frame, quick to dodge and evade as best he could, smacking the other zombie across the head with a satisfying smash of his bat finally.

“Youngjae! What happened? Are you...are you okay? We need to get out of here, now!” BamBam took Yugyeom’s left side, throwing a quick look at Youngjae, who was panting heavily, sweat running down his face but a relieved sigh leaving him: “You are here...Bam, are you unhurt?” Yugyeom cursed, taking down another zombie, before it could target them, yelling back: “Fuck, how can you ask that, when it’s you, who is bleeding heavily? How could you be so stupid?! I had everything under control, why did you jump into my fight, when there were enough right behind you?!” His nostrils were flaring from the anger bubbling inside of him. Both boys stared each other down, faces a grimace of pain, worry and stubbornness before BamBam interrupted their childish quarrel.

“Sorry to disturb but we really need to get out of here: Now. Yugyeom, grab Youngjae, you are stronger. Youngjae, give me your sword, my daggers and knives are no help for slashing a path through these things. I need something longer.” Yugyeom was grabbing at Youngjae right away, who was surely not able to hold himself upright any longer but it didn’t stop him from asking the real questions. “Wait, are you sure? I mean, have you ever used a sword?” BamBam clenched his teeth, grabbing the heavier weapon with both hands. No, he had never really swung one and he was more than uncomfortable with its weight and length but they had to make do. “Anyone a better idea? Because I am pretty sure I can’t carry you in that condition for more than a few steps and we really don’t wanna fall around anywhere around here.” The rotting smell and burning of flesh too potent to let any arguments be made.

“Bam, are you okay?” They were all breathing heavily now, the flames getting higher by the minute but BamBam was fully concentrated on scanning their surroundings as they slowly advanced towards where the gate was supposed to be. BamBam was sweating and heaving harshly. Cutting down even a few zombies with a weapon, that was this unfamiliar was bad enough, in a life and death situation, it was the worst. He ignored Yugyeom’s question, unsure his voice was steady enough to answer, his eyes were starting to blur from exhaustion and smoke. He was collecting himself for a moment, when Youngjae’s scream cut through the air: “Gyeom, on our right!” BamBam was whipping around fast, enough to make him more nauseous than before, losing his footing when he was needed the most.

Yugyeom reacted as fast as always, pushing Youngjae, who was on his right side and therefore right next to the incoming danger, into BamBam’s direction, hoping he would get up soon enough. He had just the time to pull his bat halfway up and grab it with both hands, before a heavy body crashed over him, a rotting smell invading his nostrils and lungs. Clacking and snarling took all of his vision as he held onto his bat for dear life. The face of a zombie, probably twice his weight, pushing him onto moss and grass. Yugyeom couldn’t do much but grunt, holding on. He could hear Youngjae and BamBam yelling but there were flashes, probably more undead overrunning them. Yugyeom’s body froze, sturdy but cold as realization hit him. He would die. No, worse: he would be bitten, die and then come back to rip into anyone close by.

Friend or foe not mattering at all. Trying to kill his loved ones. Just when his strength was about to leave him, something shot into the body above him, he could hear the crack as it hit, not visible from his perspective, what it exactly was. It changed the fight immensely though. The zombie above him, fell like a sack of potatoes, its head just missing Yugyeom’s throat by a few inches, before it flew to the side too fast for comfort a few seconds later. Yugyeom didn’t waste any time, his limbs flailing as he got up, grabbing for his fallen bat as the weight had nearly taken it with it. He looked around in a panic, only to realize, that everything had quietened down around them.

Only the crackling of fire was to hear somewhere along the treelines. Youngjae and BamBam were leaning against a tree, Jaebeom inspecting his brother’s leg with a worried look. Jaebeom. That meant- Before anyone could react, Yugyeom whipped around towards the undead body, which was staked to a tree not far from him, the hilt of a long and thin blade sticking out. Red and black. A katana, that was all too familiar. “Kim Yugyeom!” The voice made him shiver, the tone so strange as he turned around slowly. “What the hell?!” If it wasn’t for the ashen face as he sprinted over, Yugyeom would have been more scared. He was worried, so there was a chance of- before he could finish the thought a hand grabbed his collar, nearly pulling him off his feet like a child even though Mark was barely the same height as him.

Yugyeom’s chin was grabbed painfully, his head pulled and pushed until the other seemed satisfied, cursing a last time as he pulled his katana out of the limp body next to them before he grabbed the younger by the arm with the other hand. “Jaebeom, can you carry Youngjae? BamBam, are you hurt?” Jaebeom nodded as BamBam got up, watching how Jaebeom made Youngjae climb his back, throwing his backpack towards Mark, who caught it without fail. Yugyeom wanted to pull his arm back, but the hand clenched harder, maybe even crushing his bones as a low “Don’t.” was everything he got, before he was pulled through the woods and towards the right, the high fence and gate coming into sight soon enough. A short sigh went through the group and the were back behind the fence.

Mark’s face was grim, dark and full of shadows, signaling him that this matter was far from being over. They passed groups and soldiers, who were questioning people. One of them caught sight of the group but left them alone, when he spotted Mark and Jaebeom with them their Guardian armbands across their biceps. They nodded and the group left the premises

This was just the beginning of an already way too long night.


	3. When we fell apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Past things will only hold us back, so look forward. Bite your tongue if you must but don't ever look back." - Mark Tuan

The door was thrown into the lock, vibrating with the force of it as silence fell over the Kim house. Yugyeom had not tried again to retract his hand, in fear it would only cause Mark to lash out again. Being obedient was the best survival option currently. With a huff, Jaebeom placed Youngjae down on one of the kitchen chairs, BamBam letting himself fall on another one with a small groan. “Mark, I am going to use your first-aid-kit and some hot water.” Jaebeom turned away, pulling the thick kit out from beneath the sink as he leaned over it to look through its contents. The other didn’t even spare him a glance, taking deep breaths. It took another few seconds, before Yugyeom felt the tight grip on his arm loosen and then vanish, leaving only a dull pressure behind.

Mark didn’t look up, pulling one of the remaining kitchen chairs a little farther and sitting down heavily. He let his gaze sweep over the group in his kitchen, letting out a deep sigh: “So, anyone care to explain why Jaebeom and I were called back for Code Black two days before we were supposed to return from a job?” BamBam nearly choked, making himself smaller on the chair. Code Black was probably the worst message any Guardian could ever get. It stood for the worst kind of danger: massacre and clean-up. Survivors were a miracle. Now Yugyeom understood why his brother looked so haunted and utterly tired, they must have ran back the whole way from wherever they had been. Guilt crawled up his throat, making him swallow hard. Regret a bitter taste on his tongue.

“Hyung, I-” The older shook his head dismissively: “I don’t wanna hear lame excuses or even an apology, I really have no strength or nerves left for that. Just tell me why. Why would you be so stupid to do something like this? Is it my fault? Shouldn’t I have left you alone for more than a day? I really thought you had grown up from your childish antics. Do you have any clue how-” “'Stupid? Dangerous? The worst decision you could have made?' I know! I know! You are always like this. Do you think I am happy? Do you think I wanted to lose BamBam out of sight for hours? Let Youngjae help me, just to be injured himself? I hate it. I hate it so much, I wish we had never gone! I regret it, everything, satisfied now?” Yugyeom could feel the thin threads of his temper loosening, he wasn’t any better with holding his anger back than his brother. They were made from the same steel in the end.

Mark’s laughter sent a shiver through the room, it was hollow and despicable: “Satisfied? Are you being serious? You think I am satisfied, because you feel bad and regret nearly killing yourself and your friends as well? I know this was your idea, I know you are the one, who brought them along, unfortunately they are more loyal than smart. Sorry, Jaebeom-ah.” Jaebeom snorted, not looking up from disinfecting and bandaging his brother’s leg: “I see no lies.” “You think I was happy, when my pager showed me Code Black, when we were nearly ten miles away on foot? Do you even know what we went through, running like mad

men through territory, that wasn’t even fully scouted? When I just arrived on time to see you being inches from being bitten and crushed? I must have been out of my mind to throw my katana in a fight, because I could think of nothing else than to get that thing off you!”

The following silence was suffocating, but Yugyeom had to try to save this. To restore what had been broken because of his decisions. The hunting party itself had gone bad, it wasn’t all his fault, right? Did Mark hate him for it? He had not only come back empty-handed, he was also probably reliving the worst night of his life, when they both lost their parents and so many friends. What if he had lost Yugyeom? What would he do then? Orphaned and all alone. “Hyung…” His voice was thick, the tears in his eyes evident but Mark held on, with a hoarse and broken voice, the last of his strength leaving him “Don’t, please. Just, don’t. I can’t-” With that he stood up at once and stomped towards the stairs and disappeared from sight. So, this is how their conversation ended? No reviving, no second chances.

“Youngjae-ah, don’t think that I am not just as mad as Mark just because I didn’t say anything until now. We will talk later, I need to check on Jinyoung first, he didn’t answer his pager and you left him all alone-” Youngjae let out an annoyed groan, his voice shaken but clear: “Of course. Thanks for bandaging my leg at least, don’t wanna make Jinyoungie wait too long, right?” A sharp inhale, words pressed through clenched teeth: “Watch your tongue. He is still your Hyung.” Jaebeom was in no better shape than Mark with even a graze above his right brow, Yugyeom only saw now in the dim lights of their kitchen. Youngjae’s tone had been mocking, disrespectful and carried frustrations. Jaebeom couldn’t know that his usually obedient and easy-going brother was on the verge of a rage fit. Losing blood and too much adrenaline seemed to make things worse.

Youngjae stood up suddenly, carefully putting his leg down as he grabbed his sword from BamBam’s side. “You are right: He has been more of a Hyung than you lately. At least he does the chores and doesn’t flaunt all my mistakes in front of everyone, when I feel like shit. Thank you very much for that.” Before anyone could react, Youngjae stumbled faster and more steadily than expected through the door and into the night. Jaebeom let himself lean back, falling on his behind as he sighed in frustration and anger. How did he suddenly turn against him? What had just happened? Yugyeom felt bad for the older one, his guilty conscience still heavy, so he set the kettle on the stove and waited on the chair next to BamBam. “Gyeom-ah, I know this is bad timing but can I maybe sleep over? I told my mother I am at yours and- well you know...I can’t go home like this.”

Yugyeom’s tired eyes looked over his best friend, who looked pleadingly at him. He was splashed with blood and other excrements, his mother would kill him, if she saw. He let his head fall back against the back of the hardwood chair, sighing: “Of course you can stay as always. You can sleep on the couch after washing that stuff off.” His friend sighed in relief, nodding thankfully. They really needed some sleep and were tired enough to fall asleep anywhere anyways.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door downstairs was unlocked clumsily, making Jinyoung move around faster but stealthily. He wasn’t expecting Jaebeom to be back this fast after seeing in what condition their party had been, when he had taken off in a rush after waiting for them in anticipation to finally arrive where the kids were. Jinyoung had followed Yugyeom and the others after hearing of this incredibly stupid hunting party. He was sure that there would be trouble soon enough and he was proven more than right. Jinyoung had been laying low and watching, his hand twitching towards his bow every time it was a close call for any of the boys, hoping he wouldn’t need to intervene.

He had been the one to send the Code Black to Mark, using the pager he found of one of the richer kids after hell broke loose. Jinyoung closed his eyes, back to the door of his room. His breathing hastened as the voices, only background noise most of the days, got louder and louder. Screams. Yelling and hurried footsteps. “Jinyoung-ah!” The call threw him back, his arm hitting the lamp on the drawer next to the door, crashing to the ground. Jinyoung got his breathing under control as there was a loud knock on the door. “Jinyoung-hyung? Are you okay? I heard a crash…” To his surprise, it was Youngjae and not Jaebeom. Didn’t they return together? Where were the others?

In a rush, he kicked his muddy boots under the bed, hoping his bow was discarded far enough to not be visible from the doorway. He took a last deep breath, before he opened the door behind him not too wide. “Youngjae-ah...yes, I am fine. I just tripped and hit the lamp, I-” before he could finish, the door was pushed open wider. Youngjae gasped at the floor, the pieces of the lamp a mix of fabric, glass and ceramic. He pushed Jinyoung back, shaking his head: “Seriously, you could have gotten hurt, don’t move, I will get the broom!” Jinyoung was too perplexed to move either way, so he waited for the younger to get back. Youngjae was huffing, when he was finally back, his forehead sweating.

“Jae-ah, your leg! What happened? Did Jaebeom bandage it correctly? You could get a sepsis, if he didn’t disinfect it-” Youngjae went from slightly embarrassed over his condition to surprised. He blinked several times at the other, before he spoke up: “You were at home the whole day and night, how did you know Hyung was back? They came back in an emergency, Hyung didn’t inform anyone, rushing back.” Jinyoung bit onto his tongue, cursing himself. Youngjae quietly cleared all the pieces on the floor, before setting the broom aside, he was eerily quiet after that statement. He sighed, half limping towards the bed to sit down. “You know, Hyung. I had always wondered how you feel and what you are thinking, shutting yourself away from the world outside this room. I know you have lost so much...endured so much pain but still. I never forgot how smart and talented you were before. A prodigy and genius in science, they always said. Even more, you were the best archer Hyung had ever seen, he told me once.”

Jinyoung carefully stepped forward, taking a seat next to Youngjae, careful not to sit too close. His face was undecipherable, not letting any emotion pass over it. His voice was steady: “I don’t know what you mean, Youngjae. It’s been really hard these last months and I really don’t feel like I am ready for anything at the moment, I am fine here. And I will always be grateful to you and your brother for taking me in, when I had nowhere else to go anymore.” Youngjae’s head was hanging low, making Jinyoung nearly sigh in relief. The path his words were going on was too dangerous. Too close. No one could know or this could really be the end for everything he had been working on for years. To his surprise, Youngjae’s eyes were sharp and nowhere near giving up, reminding him too much of a pair of cat-like eyes with twin moles. “Hyung, I haven’t said anything until now, because I know you must have your reasons. Staying up most nights, not because of nightmares but something else. Staying hidden and keeping a low-profile. And more than anything-”

“This.” With a swift move, the boy had grabbed hold of the bow stowed behind him on the ground. The grip well-worn and weathered from all the training and use over the years. Jinyoung opened his mouth, when Youngjae let his arm sink back down: “The truth, Hyung. Please. Whatever you are doing or planning, is it that dangerous, that you can’t tell us? Not even Hyung?” Jinyoung nearly jumped up, flinching: “I never lied to Jaebeom-hyung. I-” Youngjae shook his head: “Where is the difference? You are acting like a stranger.” The silence was stretching over the whole room, no one ready to break it, when Jinyoung finally sunk back onto the bed, sighing deeply. “You wouldn’t understand, but you are right, where is the difference, right? I can’t tell you now, Youngjae-ah. But I will, soon. Can you give me some time, please? I am not ready to-”

The younger leaned forward, hugging Jinyoung as he sighed himself, utterly tired from the whole day. “I know. We are family, right? I just knew it was you, who shot that arrow when Yugyeom was in danger. Thank you, Hyung.” Jinyoung raised his hand, patting the boy on the back: “No need to thank me, that’s what family does. We protect each other, always. Now, why don’t you tell me how you can be failing chemistry AND nearly get yourself killed.” Youngjae groaned loudly: “I can’t believe you know that too. Does Hyung know? He will skin me alive. I wish I had your science brain. Why are we even going to school in a post-apocalyptic world?” Trying to suppress his laugh with a chuckle, Jinyoung looked up, ruffling Youngjae’s hair: “You know what? How about I tutor you as a little ‘thank you’ for being understanding and an awesome dongsaeng?”

Youngjae watched him suspiciously: “Are you trying to bribe me right now? What happened to the ‘we are family’ speech from before, huh?” Now Jinyoung was laughing freely: “Take it or leave it but your sword will definitely not save you from failing your classes.” Heavy boots were climbing up the stairs, making Jinyoung nervous all over again. “Youngjae, please-” “What are you two doing there?” Jaebeom looked exhausted and close to a breakdown, when he leaned against the doorframe. He scanned the room and lastly the two guys sitting nervously on the bed, blinking back at him. Youngjae threw a glance at Jinyoung, who looked down miserably before he let out a sigh himself: “Sorry, Hyung. The lamp broke by mistake, so I checked up on Jinyoung-hyung. Just wanted to see if he’s alright. We talked.”

Jaebeom pushed himself off the wall, stepping closer: “Don’t worry about the lamp as long as you two are fine. Talked, huh? What did you talk about?” No matter how strong and well-trained Jaebeom was physically, he always had a sharp and perceptive mind, not missing when something was amiss. Jinyoung knew that, of course, so he kept with the truth, even if not all of it: “Youngjae...told me. About the incident today and...about your fight. We all probably need some sleep, it’s been a long day. How about talking tomorrow at breakfast? All three of us.” The older’s eyes went from suspicious to astonished in a few seconds. It was rare for Jinyoung to actually engage in anything with just one person since he lived at their house, so him offering a shared breakfast with all three of them, was more than surprising.

“Sounds great, Hyung. My leg is starting to hurt a little, so I will head to my room. Goodnight, hyungs.” He was gone in a second, making Jaebeom look after him for a few more seconds. “Hyung, are you okay?” Jaebeom was brought back in a second, turning back, blinking in surprise. “Me? I am fine. Just a few scratches, because we were running through the woods, nothing else. I am more worried about the kids...and you. Are you okay?” Jinyoung shook his head, standing up. “You really should stop worrying about everyone, you know. I am here. Youngjae came back and is fine, beat up, but fine. We have been worse at their age, remember?” The other started laughing, shaking his head: “Yeah, how could I? Mark was the brain and common sense, where we were basically betting and climbing onto anything possible...and even impossible.” He sighed tiredly: “I miss it, you know? You, me, us, Mark, Youngjae only a kid playing on the grass, Yugyeom clutching Mark’s shirt and not letting go. Even BamBam running around the house without a shirt and pants. In any house.”

Jinyoung smiled nostalgically, remembering the brightly shining memories he held dear. Their parents sitting together, talking and laughing. Back then everything was different. “I wish we could go back.” It was just a whisper, but Jinyoung was pulled back harshly by it, staring at Jaebeom, before his face was closed off again. No emotions visible. “I don’t. This is our life. This is our now. There is no use in being stuck in the past. They won’t come back.” And with that, the day had come to an abrupt end. No words were exchanged anymore, when Jaebeom finally started to walk out again. “Goodnight, Jinyoungie. See you at breakfast.” He closed the door quietly, heading towards his own room, when he stopped, looking back at the closed door behind him. He shook his head sadly: “I am not sure, which one of us is truly stuck in the past. All I do is reminiscing, where you are reliving it every day.”

The past was not as easily left behind as they all thought. Ghosts of the past always came back to haunt them. In one way or another.

This time was no exception.


	4. What we become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't run away just because you can't solve the problem in front of you. Desperate times call for desperate measures." - Mark Tuan

Yugyeom felt groggy and awful when they headed to school the next morning. Jaebeom and Mark had no mercy with them missing school and even BamBam’s mother called Mark early to place her trust in him for taking care of the boys’ attendance record. There was no question therefore, when BamBam and Yugyeom were awoken by calls and shaking from Youngjae, who was of course on his legs before them even with one of them still bandaged. Yugyeom had been suspicious of him though, he seemed to be in a good mood despite yesterday’s outcome and all of them having house arrest for the next three weeks at their age. Embarrassing. Yugyeom was especially moody since that was basically the only sentence Mark had spoken at breakfast. He had not outright ignored his younger brother but his aura had it made impossible to start a conversation or even apologize again.

Classes were slow or maybe it was just them feeling knocked out mentally and physically. Yugyeom had taken care of his cuts and bruises even though Mark had demanded to look over them again in the morning not looking at his eyes. Why did he have the feeling that his brother was the one blaming himself for yesterday? It made Yugyeom feel even worse. There was a loud groan from beside him as BamBam crouched down to pick his fallen notebook up. Youngjae rolled his eyes. “How long are you gonna groan like a zombie? People will start thinking you actually got bitten yesterday.” He looked around as if that was actually the case and to their surprise a few looked away from Youngjae’s half mockingly searching gaze. Huh?

“Jokes on you, if I were undead I would certainly not feel my sore muscles, ugh.” BamBam got up finally, putting his notebook back into his backpack. Before Youngjae could make a comment about what he saw just now, Yugyeom nodded “I saw it, something seems to be up. There were a few whispering groups, who glanced at us when we were waiting in the hallways for you in front of the bathroom, Bam sensed them as well. Glancing, but avoiding eye contact.” Now BamBam was more attentive, nodding darkly. He sighed, rotating his shoulders with a flinch. “There are only two reasons for them to act like this and we didn’t do anything forbidden except for the party where basically half the school was. So, that means only one possibility left: rumors.” Yugyeom raised an eyebrow. “You nearly scared me with that serious attitude just now...but what kind of rumors? Have you heard anything lately?”

BamBam shook his head, making Youngjae look behind them, catching another person hurrying away under his scrutiny. “Well, whatever it is, it doesn’t seem to be some simple dating rumors. We should get to the bottom of this. Bam, any idea where we can find out about this?” The one in question blinked at his two friends, before talking very slowly: “And how do you think I might know? I mean- nah, just joking! Of course I know who will know. Let’s get to Jisung, that boy always knows what’s up and he owes us for saving his ass yesterday.” Yugyeom snorted: “I don’t think anyone owes us anything for a whole hunting party ending with an inferno and dead kids.” Youngjae shook his head: “No, Bam is right. Unlike others, we didn’t leave everyone behind and tried to only save ourselves. Let’s go.”

It took them until the lunch break before they could really look for anyone. To their chagrin Han Jisung seemed to have disappeared from the school grounds. It was only by the bleachers close to the basketball court, BamBam sighed in relief. He really was not in the mood to ask Hani, the teacher’s assistant for info about any rumor. That woman was heartless when it came to favors and owing her. He shuddered as he followed Yugyeom, who took the lead, Bam and Youngjae close behind. Jisung was about to stuff his burrito into his mouth, when his eyes became huge. He had recognized the group, scrambling to get away and confirming Youngjae’s theory, that he was actually hiding from them which also meant: he really knew something. Yugyeom cut off his escape route with his tall build making the younger yelp and take a few steps back. “Jisung, come on, man. You act like we gonna eat you! What’s going on? You know what all the talk is about, huh? Gotcha.”

Jisung was startled, taking a moment too long to deny BamBam’s words, Yugyeom stepped forward, grabbing him by the lapels of his expensive looking jacket. “Yah, this is a limited edition! I had to promise to do Chan’s history homework for one month just to be the first in line when his dad gets back from overseas!” Youngjae intervened, calming all of them. They would get nowhere if someone called the teachers to break them apart. “Guys, let’s have a civil talk. Jisung-ah, can you do us the favor please? We won’t tell anyone we heard it from you or that we know at all, okay?” The boy looked defeated, letting his head hang with a heavy sigh as he mumbled. BamBam crouched down to hear him better, when his face turned into a frown and then a dark grimace. Yugyeom took a defensive stance.

“What did he say?” BamBam avoided Youngjae’s eyes, his voice nearly a whisper as well. “He said he would tell us but only the two of us. He can’t be seen talking to Youngjae right now…” Yugyeom was about to grab him and throw him off the bleachers, when Youngjae held his arm with a grim face. “Don’t. Just talk to him, I will wait by the north entrance, see you there.” His heart still felt heavy, when he turned around but it was the heavyweight in his bones that made him nauseous. Why did he feel like he would lose more than a little dignity if he didn’t get to know what all this was about? The dreadful feeling that something would go so wrong too soon. It felt like an eternity but they still had eight minutes of their break left, when Yugyeom and BamBam met up with Youngjae at the seldomly used side entrance with dark faces.

This time it was not only Yugyeom, who looked like he wanted to punch or throw something against the wall. Youngjae tried to brace himself as he pushed off the wall he was leaning on, looking at the other two expectantly. BamBam’s mouth was a grim line, so Yugyeom cracked his knuckles to let some steam off before he started talking. It sounded like his teeth were still clenched. “It’s bad. The rumors are about Jinyoung-hyung.” Youngjae felt his head spin, his mind flashed back to their talk yesterday night after getting home and finding out his secret. Had someone else seen him? No, Yugyeom and BamBam wouldn’t be this mad if it was as simple as that, so Youngjae nodded. “Go on.” He shook his head. “It’s stupid and all lies. Someone, probably Changbin, overheard his politician parents discussing the outbreak and its causes ten years ago. I don’t know why now after all this time...they said the Parks, emphasizing the scientists, whose son survived the blackout a few months ago, have had their hands in the whole thing. They supposedly were part of the leading scientist team from the laboratory the first infections were located in.

Jinyoung’s parents are at fault and Jinyoung is an accomplice. They caused the blackout a few months back to destroy all the evidence left from all the years.” Youngjae shook his head, holding it with one hand as it started to ache. “This is crazy. That’s not- it can’t be. Why should the Parks cause a blackout and get themselves killed? They were more than just smart, there would have been other ways. I can’t- Gyeom-ah, they are lies.” BamBam and Yugyeom smiled a little at their friend reacting the way they had a few minutes ago in front of Jisung. They had defended Jinyoung’s family without hesitation. This didn’t make sense at all. BamBam took a heavy breath: “There is more. The most important part. Jisung said his father talked about how the Parks hid something from the government for all these years, Youngjae. Not just documents or evidence, they had the cure with them. The antidote for the infection in its early stages. A cure! Can you believe that? Ridiculous.” Youngjae shook his head repetitively: “It makes sense now, why it seems I am avoided more than you two. My brother and I took Jinyoung in, when no one else did.

He is a part of our household and family therefore they are scared I will tell Jaebeom-hyung. My brother wouldn’t just take someone bad talking his family. He would go straight on against everyone and with his and Mark-hyung’s fame and popularity, they can’t risk it. It would split the sector, damn, it would split the whole system. Those two have friends and acquaintances everywhere. They are scared…” Yugyeom nodded. “I think so too. But don’t you think the timing is too well fit? The hunting party yesterday made everyone scared and some lives were lost, it is nearly like the blackout all over again.” BamBam finished his thoughts grimly: “If there would be a perfect timing to remind everyone how weak humans are and how miserable we are living like this, it would be now. Pushing and distributing blame would fit best now.” Yugyeom thought only for a moment before he made up his resolve.

“We need to get back home and warn the others. If the whole school knows already, it’s only a matter of hours until there will be an official announcement of any kind. We need to go now even if Mark and Jaebeom kill us for skipping school. They had just reached the school gate, when one of their teachers caught them, looking suspiciously. “Where do you boys think you are going? Class has started just now. Do I need to call your guardians?” Even as he said that, BamBam and Yugyeom were grabbed by their arms and hauled along back to the school building. They looked helplessly at Youngjae, who just shook his head mouthing: “Later.” Back in their respective classes, Youngjae in his own and BamBam and Yugyeom in their chemistry one, an announcement was made. The teachers were called upon to turn on the news channel in every class.

Youngjae dreaded what was to come but he was powerless to stop them. Unable to move or look away as the screen lighted up and the security minister’s voice droned through the classroom. Seo Changbin’s father. Youngjae could feel the heavy atmosphere as the news broadcast was announced. The security minister looked grim, as grim as a wealth and well living man his age could. “Good afternoon, dear citizens. This is an unscheduled and flash news announcement for all of our Sector B. As you know our security is the most important, we want all of you to feel safe, to feel happy within our sturdy fences and walls. You may all remember the awful blackout and fence destruction which we had assumed was due to the storm that night. The investigations had never stopped since then to bring every spec of truth to the surface.” He took a dramatic breathing pause before coming to the main point of the announcement.

“Unfortunately, we have to inform you that the investigations have come to the conclusion that it had not been a mistake or error on our military’s side. It had been an inside job, the fences had been sabotaged from within.” Youngjae could hear the whispers and gasps around him but his body was tense like he was about to dash outside and home which he would have gladly in that moment but the news reached its peak, dramatic music entering as Youngjae felt sick to his stomach. “Yes, I know you are probably just as shocked as we are but information is the foundation of trust and we want our citizens to have trust in our power. We have tried our best to get to the bottom of this whole case and it turned out into a more deep rooted cause, that we would have ever expected. Documents and a witness had been secured which led us not only to the knowledge of who the culprits were but also that this was a conspiracy going all back to the beginning of Zeta. I will keep this short since it won’t be any easier if this is dragged any longer.” 

Another dramatic pause, of course. Youngjae was about to throw up, when the minister finally finished. “The Parks had been one of the greatest scientists throughout the sectors and we have always made sure to acknowledge their abilities and breakthroughs. Unfortunately, we have to tell you the whole truth as we found it to be true: The Parks, whose son was the only survivor four months ago after the blackout in the far east area has occurred, are not as good as we all had thought. They are the same Parks, who have been identified to be part of the team of scientists, who were the leaders of the main laboratory where the first infected had been found.” Shouts could be heard within the classroom. Even the teacher fell into a coughing fit from the sudden gasp. Disbelief, curses and anger filled the air as the announcement came to an end.

“I know, it is terrible. This has all happened within our own sector, our home. Therefore we have decided to take the whole case as it is and investigate further. It looks horrible from the outside but we need to know the motives and everything kept hidden from us. A special unit has been dispatched just now and will bring in any accomplices and witnesses to help us solve this mysterious case. Thank you for your attention and your unyielding in us, the government. We will make sure not betray this deep trust. This was Seo Changho, the security minister of Sector B.” The news faded, the whispers growing and growing until Youngjae felt like suffocating. He was about to lower his had in despair, when a sentence rang through his mind. ‘A special unit has been dispatched just now and will bring in any accomplices and witnesses’ They would come for Jinyoung.

Jaebeom was home after the tiring night yesterday, taking a rest. He would not take friendly to anyone accusing or trying to take Jinyoung in for questioning. It felt too much like they were trying to excuse his arrest. With a jump, Youngjae was up, not thinking. It would escalate. There would be a fight. His brother was an unbeaten warrior but how many special forces could he fight until he went down? How many minutes before his blood was decorating the warm colored walls of their family home? “Hyung!” He started to run, passing a teacher, who was about to put himself in his way, to stop him. Without hesitation, Youngjae ran full force, making a sharp left swing and took two steps off the wall to practically leap away and behind the man. There was an astonished yell but Youngjae didn’t care. He was dead set on getting home and warning his brother or even fight by his side if he was too late to stop anything.

There was a call at his side he barely registered. As he turned his head, he saw Yugyeom and BamBam falling into a run next to him. “We need to warn them!” BamBam dodged a log, jumping over it like a game figure, his body flexible and no groaning in sight. If it wasn’t for the fear of losing everything, Youngjae would have probably laughed and made a joke about his acting skills. Yugyeom’s lungs were burning as he stared ahead. They were maybe a minute or two away from their street, when he called over to Youngjae again. He signed for him to get to his own home, him and BamBam would get Mark and rush over as reinforcements. Youngjae nodded, disappearing at the corner next to them.

BamBam nodded grimly, watching their exchange. They burst through the doors together, Mark was sitting in the kitchen, head in his hands. Yugyeom nearly fell forward trying to reach him as he seemed unresponsive. “H-hyung...Jin-Jinyoung-h-hyung.” He was completely out of breath. They had run the whole route, which normally took them over ten minutes normally in nearly five, lungs burning like coals. Mark’s voice was rough, he didn’t raise his head: “I know.” His voice was as rough as last night, when he had been so utterly exhausted because of the fear of losing Yugyeom and the others. BamBam couldn’t understand his reaction. Shouldn’t he do something? Help Jinyoung? Defend him like Jaebeom would? Youngjae...they had to get to their friend and help him. Mark finally lowered his hands, his eyes were rimmed bloody-red like he had been suppressing tears heavily.

Yugyeom lost his voice for a moment, when a yell of anguish and despair came from outside. His bones rattled at the sound, making him tremble. Before he could say the name, Mark got up heavily, getting to the door. “Youngjae.” In that rough voice of his. BamBam choked when he realized it had actually been Youngjae’s disformed voice just now. Weren’t their houses at least a hundred meters away, how? Before they could question or break down, Mark stepped outside and walked steadily towards Jaebeom and Youngjae’s house. It was like he knew what he would find there and it made Yugyeom sick. Did he not care? Didn’t he consider them family, the way Yugyeom did? no matter how bitter or jealous he sometimes had been of Jinyoung, he was family. Someone he would risk his life for without blinking.

They had reached the house, the door slightly ajar but no sounds could be heard. Mark pushed it slowly aside as if he was afraid as well of what lay behind it. Yugyeom felt like fear wasn’t even close to the dreadful feeling spreading like poison in his organs, heart and stomach feeling heavy already. As hesitant as Mark’s push was, his steps only showed confidence and determination. Youngjae was sitting in the middle of the floor, two bodies lying on the ground, the blood still trickling to the ground. BamBam and Yugyeom breathed a sigh of relief, when they saw the two bulky mens’ bodies. BamBam frowned though right after. Yugyeom was too fixated on Youngjae’s trembling body Mark had approached. He took the boy in his arms, patting his head as slight sobs could be heard. “Yugyeom.”

BamBam was crouched down next to one of the bodies, when Yugyeom turned at the strange tone in his voice. He stared at the blood as his best friend pointed at the neck of one of them. A sharp and glinting arrow was shot through his carotid artery, a perfect hit. It reminded them of the summers a few years ago. Jinyoung betting with Mark and Jaebeom that he could hit an apple from fifty meters after one look, blindfolded. They had laughed and cheered like children, when it was a perfect hit. The arrow was similar, pitch black with a silvery glinting head. Yugyeom frowned, how could that be possible? Jinyoung had turned into a recluse months ago, never picking up his bow anymore, he knew, because they had tried it several time. To pull him back. It was then, that Yugyeom took a closer look, his face turning grim. “Bam-ah, didn’t the minister say they sent special forces to pick up the accused and witnesses?”

The other nodded slowly, following his trail of thoughts. “Yeah, special forces are specialized but governmental forces. The governmental force all wear similar uniforms with the emblem of the president and the united sectors.” Yugyeom nodded asking the question crossing both their minds as the same time, aloud: “So, why are these two definitely uniformed professionally but don’t carry any identification signs? No emblem and I bet if we check their pockets: no IDs. Their faces are nearly completely clothed as if...” A cold shudder ran down his spine at the realization. “Yugs, these are not special forces to accompany anyone. These are assassins...unidentified soldiers to carry out ultimate orders.” They shared a long look, when Mark walked back towards them. Youngjae was pale, his eyes the only color on his face, red from crying quietly. He was clutching a paper, handing it to Mark as he gently pushed Youngjae towards Yugyeom and BamBam, who both put their arms around him.

Mark looked at the three of them, a sad smile on his lips. “We don’t have any time left. Get back to the house and give Youngjae a change of clothes. They can’t know he saw this. You three stay at our house, I will take care of this. Gyeom-ah, take care of them, okay?” Yugyeom was nearly saluting, mesmerized at the way his brother turned into a leader so smoothly, keeping his head over everything happening around him. He nodded instead, with a low voice. “Understood. We will wait for you at home.” Yugyeom wondered if the sadness in his eyes was the fact that Jaebeom and Jinyoung were gone but the paper in his hands was written neatly as if the writer was prepared, expecting this outcome.

_ “Don’t look for us. There was no other choice, one day you will hopefully understand my decisions. Stay with Mark, he will know what to do. _

_ Hyung” _

As Yugyeom was about to turn away and walk out, he saw Mark unsheathing his katana as he bowed down next to the man with the arrow in his throat. And the said arrow was his goal as he gripped it and broke the head off. With a fast pull it was dislocated from the man’s throat, more blood pouring out. Yugyeom felt sick but he couldn’t look away as Mark pocketed the broken arrow pieces and stood up again. In a swift and too fast move, his katana met the man’s throat, cutting exactly where the arrowhole had been just now. It drowned in ripped skin and blood. BamBam gasped, pulling at his two shocked friends. “Come on, we need to leave. He is destroying the evidence of Jinyoung and Jaebeom being the ones who took these two down. Otherwise they could be convicted of murder.”

Yugyeom and Youngjae nodded unwillingly, following him outside. As the door fell into the lock, Yugyeom felt his heart sting. Why did it feel so...final? Like nothing would go back to before ever again? Like...he was losing something very important. Back at the Kim’s, BamBam and Yugyeom took care of Youngjae, who looked utterly sad. None of them knew where Jaebeom and Jinyoung were or if they were even alive...so there were no words of reassurance as they changed clothes and brewed some calming tea for all of them. It was only when Mark’s cup had gone completely cold, when Yugyeom realized his mistake. His own cup crashed to the ground as he sprinted towards the door and down the streets with his exhausted body. The only thing he saw was the dark armored van as it drove off from the driveway in front of him, his head was spinning.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark sighed heavily as he was done with the second corpse. There were no visible marks except for the ones of his own katana. He had burned the pieces of Jinyoung’s arrow, burying the head behind the house, so it wouldn’t be found. He was exhausted, collapsing into the armchair, drenched in blood. Jaebeom would kill him, if he saw Mark walking bloody through his living room but he wasn’t here. He had left, keeping the promise they had made nearly half a year ago. No matter what would happen, they would always trust each other, have each others’ backs and protect those dear to them. Mark would have done the exact same thing. They both knew these uniforms laying on the floor dead. It was the ones, they had nearly caught back at the blackout, right before chaos had broken loose. They had been too late back then but now was different. Now they knew.

Mark was praying for his little brother and the kids as he pulled out his phone, dialing a number he had sworn to never again. But today was a day of exceptions and desperate times call for desperate measures. The phone rang twice before a female voice picked up, introducing herself as the assistant of the commander of the military. Mark was about to give up, when there was a voice cursing and then apparently taking over the phone. Mark recognized the cheery voice right away, getting goosebumps as it excused the woman from before, advising her to take a much needed break. He wanted to end the call and not stoop this low, when the same voice answered the call, sounding breathy. So, he knew.

Mark swallowed his pride, dignity and thought of his little brother, nearly choking on his next words from the heavy emotions. Too many and way too much. His voice was hoarse as if he had cried and maybe he had but the odor of blood was overweighing anything else.

_ “Gaga, I need your help.” _


	5. How we end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know, some things...some people are worth dying for. Make sure you always remember this." -Mark Tuan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

The last three years had consisted more of the brothers fighting than not at least that’s what Yugyeom remembered as he was curled up in his blanket, eyes wide open through the whole night. They had waited for Mark to come back after he was finished but they had been too stupid to think straight the day before. How could Mark leave all the proof of his meddling with two secret assassin soldiers of the government and just walk back home? It was too late when Yugyeom had run back, fear gripping his heart at the sight of an arrest van of the military leaving their street. It was too late, when BamBam and Youngjae had come after him a few seconds later to only see the dust swirled up by the heavy vehicle.

It had been BamBam, who had picked them both up from the ground, dusting their clothes as he had gripped each of their hands into his and herded them back to Mark and Yugyeom’s house like a scolding mother. They had sat in the kitchen in silence, the whole thing dawning on them and their helplessness a heavy weight on their shoulders. It was morning already, when Yugyeom watched the sun rising through his window, alighting the sky piece by piece. There was a knock on his door but he didn’t find the strength or mind to answer it. BamBam’s head popped inside, watching him grimly. He didn’t say anything as he walked inside and took a seat on the other’s bed, staring at him. Yugyeom felt irritated, couldn’t he be left alone for once? Why was everyone always involved when- hadn’t he felt exactly the same every time Mark had done something for him?

It had felt like his popular, kind and successful brother was belittling him. Mark and Jaebeom had been everyone’s idol, his brother more than Jaebeom, who always had looked quite intimidating and uncaring unlike his real personality. Mark was always the calm, gentle and handsome favorite. Getting along with more people than Yugyeom had ever expected with that crippled communication skills of his. It was frustrating. Now, he could see everything in another light. It was as if Mark’s absence left a flashlight for him to look at everything with a new lighting. Mark was his brother. He had felt useless not being able to protect or save their parents as well back then even though he was only a teen himself. If the people around him placed high hopes and expectations in him, Yugyeom now knew that he had at least twice as many or high ones in himself. With these frustrations came the anger and temper of his. Self-loathing turned outwards to find the blame, he placed on himself.

“Hey, I know I am the last person, who would normally ask but do you plan on going to school today? I know, I know. It’s just...Youngjae has been even less responsive, at least you are glaring at me and I thought...we can’t change what has happened but maybe at school we will find out more? We could ask Jisung again or even one of the teachers and I am sure you haven’t checked your phone yet but...there will be another news announcement today. An important one like the one yesterday.” In a flash Yugyeom was up, grabbing for his phone. He saw the notification as soon as the screen lit up. With an iron resolve he got up and headed downstairs to make breakfast for all of them. They would go to school as normal as possible, pretending everything was alright. If Jisung didn’t have any intel, Yugyeom would personally march up to the military base in the south and demand his brother’s release and answers. They weren’t some pushovers.

Youngjae was to both of their surprise already at the stove, putting some canned ham into something looking close to porridge. “Sorry, the rice got a little too soggy and I tried to steam it off but- yeah, it’s porridge now.” His smile was only a fragment of what it had been a few days ago, faded with the warm colors of his home underneath the copper red of blood. “Thanks, really. I was about to make something but honestly all I can manage is some heating up of leftovers. So, this smells like a five-star dish.” Youngjae snorted at the comment, his face becoming grim again. “The announcement, huh?” Yugyeom nodded. 

“Yeah, let’s talk about our next steps over breakfast. I have a feeling today will be an even longer day than the last two.” There was a “Hah, as if.” from BamBam, who threw himself into one of the empty kitchen chairs, waiting to be served with puppy eyes. Youngjae rolled his eyes at the behavior, sighing. Yugyeom told the other two of his plan, which was met with some hesitations since the military base was off limits for normal citizens. It would be not easy to even get close to it let alone find out where they held Mark at. BamBam sighed loudly. “I really don’t like where this is going but I already called my mother, telling her I would be away for a few days. She trusts that I won’t get myself in too much trouble, so let’s get the trouble started, right?”

Yugyeom shook his head at his best friend. They cleaned everything off and put the dishes away as they left the kitchen through the backdoor. The way to school was silent as all of them tried to fight off doubts and crawling fears of what the end of the day would bring. What if Mark would be imprisoned for longer? What if Jaebeom and Jinyoung had been caught already? Where had they even left to? What place would take in two refugees, who were running from the whole government? The classes passed them like being under water. Droning voices coming from far away, everything flowing away. Youngjae was vibrating with the way his body was tensed up until the bell finally rang for the break. He sprinted outside, where he met up with BamBam and Yugyeom heading for the bleachers together. To their surprise Jisung was already waiting for them close to the basketball field, drawing lines in the ground with the tip of his sneakers.

He watched the three of them approaching, looking straight at them. As soon as they were in hearing range, he started talking: “I am really sorry, guys. I didn’t know- Chan told me what had happened after the announcement yesterday. His father was one of the first to be informed. He fought with Changbin because he thought he had a responsibility to tell you all or at least Youngjae, so sorry about yesterday.” Youngjae only nodded, not saying anything. “Chan and I agreed it was better to share with others, when we actually knew stuff about others, I mean we shouldn’t have a benefit with having politicians or military officials as parents, right? You know we are not like that.” His face turned into a grimace as he whispered: “At least not all of us.” He cleared his throat, looking at his hands. “I don’t know anything else about yesterday, I just know that Ma- your brother is the only arrest they made yesterday. It was such chaos when they found him in a bloody room. Changbin’s father yelled at mine over the phone yesterday as if it was his fault.” A frown but then he just shook his head with a last apology.

There was nothing left to say, so the trio left until BamBam perked up suddenly, nearly making the other two run into him from behind. Yugyeom stopped just in time. “Wha-” BamBam raised a hand to make him go quiet as he slowly turned around, a wide grin on his face. Youngjae was creeped out. “Guys! Did you hear what Jisung just said?” Youngjae sighed like his friend had lost his mind: “Yes, Bam. They arrested Mark-hyung yesterday and-” He suddenly cut off, gasping. Yugyeom glanced at the two, when it finally clicked. Mark-hyung was the only arrest yesterday. They had found no one else. Jaebeom and Jinyoung had both gotten away from the government’s dogs. They were safe...hopefully. He nodded, now they were all on the same page, he held Youngjae’s hand to give it a quick squeeze. He nodded with a light smile on his face. Now they needed to get Mark released to tell him some good news at least. As they walked back into class, planning their next step a man in military uniform waited in front of Yugyeom and BamBam’s class.

They were wary of military presence for more reasons than one, so they kept their eyes down and were about to pass the officer, when a deep voice spoke up. “Kim Yugyeom?” They froze at the tone, it wasn’t a question. Their teacher nodded as they looked up, signalling for BamBam to get back to class. The boy shook his head. “Sorry, not leaving my best friend alone.” The man in uniform actually smiled at that, nodding at their teacher. “It’s fine. I will take it from here, thank you for your cooperation.” Their teacher left with a pressed smile, definitely thinking of a good punishment for BamBam, when the man turned fully towards them. He was visibly well-trained even under all that thick military uniform. A sharp jawline and an open and gentle face anyone would like right away. His eyes went to BamBam. “Your actions just now proved your loyalty well enough. You are an exceptional friend but unlike your teacher, I have to follow military protocol, so would you mind if I talked to Yugyeom alone for now?”

BamBam nearly nodded, stopping himself just then as he glanced at his best friend. Yugyeom thought for a second. The officier- no he was of a way higher status judging from his uniform and the medals decorating his chest. An authoritative voice and demeanor one would only see in true leaders. So, why had he never seen him before? With a last look at the man’s face, which hid anything useful beneath a friendly nearly dorky smile, Yugyeom nodded at BamBam. He would be fine. BamBam took a few steps away, waiting a little farther down the hallways, unwilling to leave completely but he was out of earshot and that was the goal apparently. “This is about Mark-hyung, right? What is going on?” The man nodded, his face slightly changing. “Would you mind, if we take a little walk, Yugyeom-sshi? It’s a little stuffy in here. You can tag along Kunpimook Bhuwakul if that makes you stop from staring daggers at me from behind.” There was a surprised gasp, BamBam feeling caught.

Yugyeom blinked, was he just implying that people could overhear them? He didn’t know, but Yugyeom felt rather comfortable in the other’s company already. Was that why they sent him? But why did they send him? Mark. What was- “Hey, you okay?” As soon as they were outside the building the man’s aura had changed significantly. He looked less stern, shoulders not as stiff and his face wore a slightly worried expression. Instead of answering the question, Yugyeom had to confirm the other’s intentions. “Mark-hyung.” He felt his own rough voice. Negative feelings were always easily read off his face. The military official nodded, mouth a firm line. “Yeah, I am here because of Mark. Your brother...he got himself in a really bad spot but you probably know that already.” Yugyeom kept his feet steady, careful not to stumble or give himself away.

“When I woke up this morning, he was gone. He would have left a note or something if he left planned, so I guessed something happened before he could. Do you know where he is?” The other sighed, Yugyeom had definitely not missed the way he had called his brother ‘Mark’ as if they knew each other well. Too familiar for a stranger. “Yugyeom, do you know who I am? Did your brother...did he ever mention Jackson Wang?” The boy glanced over, he was overwhelmed at the way the other looked painfully hopeful. He shook his head honestly, making the other’s face fall a split second, before his face was wiped clean again. “Of course not. I am Commander Jackson Wang of the military base and captain of Team Alpha.” This time it was impossible for Yugyeom to stop his feet from stumbling. He was caught by the arm, making BamBam call out from behind: “Yugs?” Yugyeom threw a look back, shaking his head. If this man was who he had just stated, he couldn’t endanger his best friend by making him oppose the man by any way.

“What do you want from me?” Yugyeom didn’t see the need to play dumb anymore. This man certainly knew more than he actually showed. He had come with a purpose, so why not get right to it? He had no nerves left for playing cat and mouse with someone, who was in a high enough position to not just throw his brother but Yugyeom as well into jail with a snap of his fingers. This was a losing game and Yugyeom had no ace left to play. Jackson Wang sighed again, which was not surprising anymore. “Yugyeom, listen. I know this may sound weird and not the most trustworthy but I am a good friend of Mark. We...were the closest friends for so long.” The younger tried not shaking his head. He would follow along for now. “So, what? It sounds like you aren’t anymore? What happened?” Jackson shook his head, his hands gripping the thin sword at his side tighter. “It’s...complicated. Things happened and we...our opinions were different. Mark was always...God, he was so stubborn, could have probably broken through cement with that head of his.”

Yugyeom snorted at the picture. It was not too far fetched with the way his brother acted most of the time. He knew he couldn’t trust Jackson...shouldn’t but why did he feel like Mark trusted him? How come his brother had never mentioned Jackson Wang? Such a high position and rank...the military. With a gulp, Yugyeom whispered a word he had only heard once before, his subconscious always holding onto it like it was something important. Something necessary for him to know. “Gaga.” He knew the pronunciation was off but unlike his brother he wasn’t fluent in many languages, so he could only speak it from his memories. What Yugyeom didn’t expect was the way Jackson flinched, stepping away from him like Yugyeom had just burned him or set him on fire. His eyes flared up as he stared at the boy. “How…? This name, how do you know it?” He felt like Jackson wanted to pull a weapon, defend himself against something Yugyeom wasn’t even aware of but he only clenched his hands by his sides, looking pressed and tense.

Yugyeom watched him carefully. He only gave a vague answer. “Must have heard it somewhere. So, it’s a name? Not Korean though?” Jackson shook his head: “You are lying. You must have...Mark, Yi-en said it, right? When?” The commander took a deep breath, good thing they were outside for fresh air already. “I- It’s Mandarin. Your brother...he used to call me that when we...before we went our own ways. It’s been really long. But this is for another time.” He took another deep breath as if he was trying to brace himself. “Yugyeom, listen please. We don’t have much time.” He could hear the echo of his brother’s voice not even 24hours ago: _ “We don’t have any time left.” _ Why was it sounding even more dreadful? Yugyeom pulled back, concentrating on Jackson’s words. He would trust this man for now. He had no other options and he was his best chance at getting his brother back.

“Mark is in a really bad spot, like really. Your brother has many friends and allies but just as many enemies, people who don’t want to see him getting in their way and that’s what he did yesterday, when he helped Jaebeom and Jinyoung. Don’t be surprised, I knew Jaebeom as well. Mark was the one who called me last night before they came to get him. He knew it would come to this and he said he has no regrets except...leaving you alone. I am really sorry, Yugyeom. I really tried my best to convince them or intervene. They don’t want to wait because they fear Mark’s power. You don’t know how many people would try to get him out of there if they knew that’s why the announcement which will be out today will be too late.” His voice cracked and Yugyeom felt his heart sink. What was he trying to say? What was Jackson saying? This makes no sense. This makes no sense.

“I know but when did they treat their own people fairly?” Had he just said it out loud, he must be losing his mind. Jackson looked bitter and sad as he continued. “Yugyeom, Mark wanted me to tell you something...because he will not be able to do it himself. Yugyeom, Mark-” Yugyeom didn’t wait for Jackson to finish. He didn’t want to show him respect by excusing himself or having a proper goodbye. He couldn’t think of any of that. His head was spinning, his mind screaming at him, his legs dashing away. “Yugyeom!” It was Jackson and BamBam, he knew and he also knew he shouldn’t act like this. He knew- Mark. Mark. Mark-hyung. His brother. He needed to get to his brother. He needed to see him. Apologize and beg on his knees for all the times he had treated him like a stranger or worse. Mark-hyung. His soul was crying out, not letting his mind finish Jackson’s sentence. It was not possible. It was a lie.

Jackson Wang was a liar. It was all bait to lure him into a trap. Yugyeom prayed for it to be a trap. He would gladly step right into the middle of it if it meant someone would tell him how stupid he was to believe those words. To even consider his brother could be- would be- “No!” His lungs burned like a fire was set to his throat and Yugyeom realized only then that he was on his way directly to the military base. They would interrogate Mark. Even if there was a punishment or judgement, there would be a case, a court hearing. A judge and lawyer. Yugyeom knew Mark could afford a good lawyer. They would look for the best even if it cost all of their fortune. As long as it would help Mark to prove his innocence he would be okay. They would be fine. Yugyeom wouldn’t feel like dying. The corners of his vision started to blacken from exhaustion, pushing his body too far.

He was so tired but he needed this more than water or even the air in his lungs. He needed to know that they would be fine. Yugyeom arrived with burned out lungs, trying to push the nauseousness down to find his speech again. Two soldiers, probably guards, were cautiously approaching him. They looked suspiciously at the boy. “State your full name and your reason for approaching a governmental building, boy!” Air, he needed air. Yugyeom felt the air leaving his body more and more as he tried to gasp and suck it in. It struck him like lightning: He was having a panic attack. No! He couldn’t- Not now. He needed to- Mark-hyung. The soldiers became more on edge with his weird behavior. It was public knowledge that soldiers had the right to shoot any dangerous or suspicious being on sight, so it was probably only a few seconds before Yugyeom would be filled with lead bullets. Maybe...maybe if that happened then-

“Kim Yugyeom! Get a grip of yourself!” A harsh hand landed on his back, nearly making him stumble if another hand wasn’t holding him upright already. He looked through his bleary vision to catch sight of Jackson Wang only a few centimeters from his face. He stared sternly at him but Yugyeom could see the underlying worry. He was actually not as good in hiding his true emotions than he thought. Yugyeom would have laughed any other day if someone told him that a commander and captain would be the one to pull him out of a nearly full-blown panic attack but here he was. Yugyeom’s stubbornness was flaring up. He wouldn’t flail and go down in front of these soldiers. He wouldn’t show weakness to them. His breathing became less rapid, feeling returning to his limbs and body as he stretched and felt for them. He counted in his head, pushing the panic and everything else with it down. There were more important things at hand. He would go and see Mark even if anyone put a bullet through his body.

Yugyeom glared at Jackson Wang as soon as he found the strength to. The other was still holding onto him, when he tried to push him off, clenching his teeth. “Let go of me, you liar.” The grip tightened instead as Jackson hissed back: “Shut up and stay put.” He got up with that, pulling Yugyeom harshly to his feet. The two soldiers were waiting a few steps back, warily watching Yugyeom still as they saluted into Jackson’s direction. “Captain, Wang!” He waved them off, his voice the personification of authority: “I need to see the detainee. Mark Tuan. Is he still in the interrogation room?” The two soldiers looked a little confused. “I don’t know, sir. We just have strict orders not to let anyone enter.” They both looked pale as if they were trying not to cower in fear. “Interesting, I don’t remember giving such orders. Who was in charge while I was gone?” The other one answered this time, looking down. “Minister Bang.” Yugyeom felt the hand on his arm go tense but Jackson’s face didn’t show anything as he nodded. “Alright, step aside. I will take it from here.”

They both glanced at Yugyeom as him and Jackson walked past them but no one dared to stop him. Jackson scanned his ID, high clearance level, and they were through the doors, right into an elevator. As soon as the heavy doors closed, Jackson let go of him, turning on his heel right away. “What do you think you are doing? Are you crazy? What if they had shot you dead before I had arrived? Aish, you two are really brothers. I can’t believe I am looking out for a teenage Mark again…” The elevator was still moving, so Jackson made it fast. “Listen, this whole building has the highest security. One would be crazy to try getting something or someone out of here without being caught. Mark can’t leave until they clear him, got it? So, try not to act up and make everything even worse. Bang is an eyesore. Not possible to get too close to, Seo and Han are his bootlikers, like most of them. So, stay quiet and invisible. You can wait in my office until I can somehow get you inside, got it?”

Yugyeom’s mouth was a grim line but he had nothing left than to nod at the other. Jackson had come for him, so maybe he wasn’t all too bad? The elevator stopped and they were about to step out, when three men appeared on the other side of the doors. Jackson stepped forward, bowing deeply. “Senator Bang, Minister Seo, Minister Han.” They gave a nod back, Senator Bang smiling widely. “Commander Wang, it has been a while. It seems you are well. It’s good to see our best soldier up and well. What brings you to this floor?” Jackson had nearly completely covered Yugyeom like he was afraid they could be attacking him. He smiled back, looking carefree and in a good mood. “You surely have been informed that I am leading the interrogation and case of Guardian Mark Tuan. I was out on an errand and am back to prepare everything for the court hearing-” Bang’s smile became eerie.

Yugyeom’s heart was starting to speed up as he felt his hands starting to sweat. He couldn’t stand the man with a round and too smooth face for his age. “Oh, have you not been informed, Commander? There was a conference this morning due to the severity of Tuan’s crimes. The ministers and senators have all voted for a ‘silent execution’ for this.” Jackson’s back was even more tense at the words. “Sir, I don’t think-” Bang chuckled mockingly. “Exactly Wang. You don’t think. You are a soldier, the best, so please do your duty and carry out your missions without any unnecessary ‘errands’ of any kind.” He eyed Yugyeom at the last words before smiling apologetically. “I am sure a young man like yourself is going to school and knows how important our rules and laws are. Still, we are no monsters, we know he was the only family you had, therefore a high compensation sum has been placed in your name, which you can take out any time you wish even before turning twenty-one, Kim Yugyeom.

“Commander Wang can take you downstairs, so you can say your last goodbyes to your brother. We were about to call for you, so it’s rather convenient you arrived already. If you excuse us now, we have some other things to take care of. I bet Commander Wang will do a good job of taking the rest from here, you have our full trust, Wang. Oh, our condolences, young man.” Jackson didn’t answer as the men left, he was unmoving as he stepped out. Yugyeom staggered outside the elevator after him as the men took their place, the doors closing. Yugyeom’s heart grew cold. His body was freezingly cold. What? What had he just said? His only family? Compensation? What compensation? He didn’t need any money, his brother always made sure he had everything. His brother- Mark-hyung. “Jack-Jackson, what did he say? Why? I don’t understand. Everything is just...wrong.” His voice was unnervingly high-pitched, the way it had always gone when he was scared badly. Fear.

Jackson moved slowly. “Yugyeom-ah, I am so sorry. I really tried to do something. To not let it come to this. I am so sorry, Yugyeom-ah.” The boy stepped away from him like Jackson had done, when Yugyeom had said ‘Gaga’. Trying to get away from something that could only hurt him. That’s when Yugyeom remembered. He couldn’t trust Jackson. He was a liar. He had lied before because Mark was okay. _They were fine._ His voice sounded like a child’s when he spoke up again. Thin and broken, so scared. “Jackson, I want to see my brother. I need to see my brother, now. Jackson, please.” The other tried to grab him, Yugyeom dodging. He wouldn’t let him. He would take him away and he had this awful feeling like yesterday, when the door to Youngjae’s house had closed between them, that he would never see Mark again if he didn’t get to now.

Yugyeom ran. He ran and ran, when he found the stairs. _ “Commander Wang can take you downstairs, so you can say your last goodbyes to your brother.” _ The words echoed through his mind, the only direction he knew. He reached the stairs, taking two at a time when he stumbled on the last few ones, hitting his elbow as it sent a shock through his whole body. It was a numb pain, throbbing but nowhere near what he could register right now. It was cold downstairs. So cold. Yugyeom took a moment to look around, when he saw many rows of doors, all labeled laboratory with an additional numbering. He tried a few doors, nothing budged. At the fourth door, he became furious, kicking the unrelenting massive door. Why didn’t it open? Where was Mark? Where was his brother?

Yugyeom could hear the steps behind him, coming closer. He knew it was Jackson Wang without looking back. He needed to- He had to- something. He needed something. “As long as we are together, the two of us, Yugyeom, everything will be fine. We are family and we need each other. No one can live with nothing, little brother.” Mark’s words after one of his many tantrums a few months after their parents’ death. Mark had stopped him from throwing things around and screaming, calling out to him as he hugged him tightly enough to hurt. Yugyeom whispered to himself as Jackson passed him slowly, heading for the end of the hallway. “No one can live with nothing.” Yugyeom’s feet were unsteady as he followed Jackson. He knew the other would lead him to his brother. He owed him at least this.

“Gyeom-ah, I am so sorry.” With a ‘beep’ the door granted them access but Yugyeom stopped. The air coming through the door was even colder than the rest of the hallway and he realized what they had come face to face. The wide hall inside was titled clearly like everything else. “Pathology” Yugyeom grabbed Jackson’s arm with trembling fingers. He shook his head. “No, Jackson, please. No, don’t- don’t do this to me, please.” The other looked like he wanted to cry and beg for forgiveness but he swallowed everything. His voice hoarse. “You have to see this. You have to accept this. I am so sorry, Yugyeom. I didn’t want any of this.” With this he pulled Yugyeom’s cold fingers off and held his hand like a child’s as he pulled him along. Yugyeom wanted to be anywhere but here. The hunting party between fire and rotting zombies. The time he went through after his parents’ death.

They stopped in the middle of the freezing room, only one metal table openly placed. There was a white and thin fabric placed over it, barely obscuring what was beneath it. Yugyeom hadn’t started to cry yet but he was about to panic again. The door had closed behind them, locking but he tried to pry off Jackson’s hand. He didn’t let go even as Yugyeom started to scratch and claw into his hand to get him off. “Yugyeom, please. Don’t make this any harder for both of us. This could be the last chance for you to bid him farewell. They won’t- they won’t keep him here for long.” Yugyeom froze at the words. What was he talking about? Who was he talking about? Yugyeom stepped forward, the body pulling him in. Why was he so scared? Mark was okay. His brother was strong. He was one of the best Guardian out there. He was invincible. Yugyeom’s knee crashed against the metal table, making it shake. The cloth stayed in place but the left arm must have been placed lightly on the edge of it since it hang off then.

And that was it. Yugyeom saw the pale skin tone, his hand reaching forward. Mark was tanned, there was no way he would have changed that much in that short time he had last seen him. See, Jackson was wrong. Bang was wrong. They were all wrong and had lied to him. He tried to convince himself, nearly successfully, when his eyes fell on the red band around the wrist hanging from the table. He choked. “Some wishes don’t come true unfortunately.” He didn’t ask how Jackson knew but the other didn’t step closer as Yugyeom slid to the floor, temple pressed to the horribly cold hand. He didn’t know when the first tears came down but they didn’t stop anymore. He was choking and sobbing, wishing for another panic attack to just take him away but it never came. Yugyeom couldn’t hold himself and Jackson didn’t dare to. So, where was his brother?

And Yugyeom was hit with the realization like a wave, swept away and drowning. He tried to breathe but it ended in more tears and pain flooding his whole being.

_ Mark was not okay and they would never be fine again because this was how they ended. _

\---------------------------------------------------------

“Yugyeom, what’s that? A red hairband?” The sixteen year old was picking him up from elementary school right after training.

“Hah! You don’t know? It’s a wish bracelet. Our teacher told us about them. Before Zeta people made them for family, so their wishes would come true.” Mark shook his head with a smile. “And how does it work then? And why is it red?” The little boy turned red like a tomato. “You give it to someone and if they wear it long enough, so it comes off on its own, the wish will be fulfilled. The color doesn’t matter. It’s the belief, Teacher Han said.” Mark offered his wrist for the little boy to put it on. “What? I am your only family and red is my favorite color, so I guess this is mine?” Instead of screaming or yelling that he was wrong, the eight-year old quietly put it around his brother’s wrist, using a triple knot, so it wouldn’t get lost somewhere. Mark had fulfilled Yugyeom’s wish for his birthday, buying him a big chocolate cake, when there were not many resources.

He couldn’t do the same but he would do what he could, so he prayed that his brother’s wish would be fulfilled as well. No matter what he wished for even if they had to wait for a little while. There was no hurry because they would wait together until it happened.


	6. Which choices we make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There are not many things that are forever but family always stays. Family is what makes these nights bearable." -Mark Tuan

Yugyeom had never cried himself to sleep. Even when he was young and had realized their parents were gone. He had cried for a while, his brother comforting him the best he could, swallowing his own tears but the little boy had stopped making a sound soon enough, too stubborn to cry anymore. Mark had always joked that he was more stubborn than Jinyoung which was a feat itself, nearly congratulating him. Jaebeom had only rolled his eyes, unable to refute the comment because they all knew that no one could beat Jinyoung in that department. The guy had been stubborn enough to pick up all the remaining things from his old house all alone. He had forbidden any of them, even the youngest “to take a day off only to pick up some burnt and trashed things”. It was only afterwards, a few days later, that Jinyoung had changed.

He didn’t talk as much anymore, staying away from shared meals and secluding himself inside his own room. Mark had told Yugyeom once that it was just how grief worked. “You don’t feel it at first, forgetting what is wrong. That’s the shock, trying to short circuit your brain to let your body keep on working. Only when your mind feels like you are ready to take the whole chaos, it will let the grief in. It’s too much for most even then but Jinyoung is different. He is strong, he will get through this and we are here to help him, Gyeom-ah.” He had nodded at the words even as he had not fully believed the words. Not everyone was like Yugyeom, stubbornly taking pain until it turned into anger or impulsive actions and Jinyoung...Jinyoung had always looked so fragile. He was the one taking care of Youngjae, BamBam and Yugyeom at the Kim house when the two oldest had been out on a job.

Jinyoung was a warm person unlike his brother. Mark was bad with words, clumsy at comforting and a catastrophe with measured punishments or reactions, when Yugyeom had done something wrong. He was parenting a child, when he was a teenager himself. Still, he had taken care of Yugyeom the best way possible. Left to his own devices at that age with another human to take care of. He had done well in the end, hadn’t he? So, why had everything fallen apart so suddenly? What had Mark done wrong except for protecting those dear to him? Yugyeom could not understand it. He couldn’t understand anything. There was a knock on the door, Youngjae entering soon, leaving the freshly made food on the little table next to the bed as he took the untouched plate from the morning with him. It had been nearly two days since Yugyeom had returned home, Jackson sending one of his men with him as he stayed behind in the military base.

And that was it. Yugyeom felt nothing but a void since. The abyss within himself, hollow and scraped clean. Nothing left. His best friends had waited in front of the building, when Yugyeom had been guided outside, not knowing when his legs had started working properly again. He had felt so detached from everything around him and it would never change, he knew this was not something one slept through or got over after months or even years. “Yuggie, I know you need all the time in the world to...just to be again. And I promise you, we will wait. Bam and me, we won’t leave you alone or give up. We will get through this like everything else: together. I am downstairs if you need anything.” Yugyeom should have felt bad for not paying attention or ignoring Youngjae, when he knew he hurt too. Pained by the happenings of the past days but...Youngjae’s brother was  _ alive _ . He was somewhere out there, probably struggling but he was alive.  _ Breathing _ .

The touch of Mark’s cold hand flashed through his mind and he curled up even more into himself, welcoming the darkness. This was nothing he would get through. This was the  _ end _ .

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ 3 months later. _

Yugyeom walked through the house, it was empty as always these days. He hadn’t returned to school even after BamBam and Youngjae had begged him. Normally Yugyeom would have been angry at his friends for even suggesting something like that but he had no strength left for any of it. It’s been months and even though he had started eating and walking again, he had not moved an inch away from the abyss, still waiting for it to swallow him whole. He had started cleaning the house when it got too dusty, too  _ abandoned _ . He passed the study he only seldomly stepped inside since it reminded him too much of his brother. Mark had spent too many nights by himself, plotting his strategies and missions ahead in there. The light from underneath the doorstep the only- Yugyeom stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes were fixated on the said doorstep as the light danced through the slit.

The lights were on. Yugyeom remembered the last time he had walked inside, hand wavering over the numerous books in different languages looking extremely old. He had stopped when his eyes had started to burn, turning around and leaving the dark study. The lights had never been turned on in the first place and Youngjae and BamBam would have never dared to step inside of it. His brain was working faster and faster, when a shadow flashed through the light, fast and precise. Someone was inside. Not fearing or hesitating, Yugyeom went for his bat, it was well-worn but sturdy. After Mark’s death Youngjae had offered to get a sword or even a rapier for him to train with but Yugyeom had refused. Mark wouldn’t have been happy knowing his little brother went behind his back just because he wasn’t there. And what did he even need a sword or something new and shiny for now? Weapons were used to protect your own and Yugyeom had nothing left.

The warm feel of his bat in his grip, Yugyeom moved silently to the side, not leaving the door out of eyesight. The shadow had stopped moving, so the intruder was preoccupied. It could have been a simple thief after treasures or even his brother’s old books. Yugyeom reached for the handle, his old bubbling anger rising with the thought of a stranger touching his brother’s possessions. He didn’t care who it was as he pulled the door open, ducking inside as he turned. The shadow was now a firm body as it dodged Yugyeom’s first swing, jumping onto the desk, going for the bookshelf. Yugyeom was livid as he followed, another swing, fast and precise as the intruder went down, expecting the hit, pulling a black weapon from his back, catching the bat with it easily. Yugyeom was about to go for a kick to free his weapon, when he stopped at once.

He was looking at a familiar bow, raven-black with gray lines on it. The middle was reconstructed, unlike any normal bow. It was something like a trap for catching weapons like swords or right now Yugyeom’s bat. Yugyeom’s eyes followed the bow to the pale hands it was held in and the body attached to them. His eyes widened as he let go of his bat, stepping backwards. The shock was overwhelming, taking Yugyeom a few seconds of mind wrecking, before he could speak. “Hyung, why are you here?” The answer was a knowing smile, arrogant in itself. Yugyeom was pulled in by the familiarity as he took a wobbly step forward, seeing the face change in a split second as the other dropped the bow as well, taking the younger in his arms, hugging tightly.

“I missed you, Gyeom-ah. It feels so good to see you again.” Yugyeom felt the familiar burn of his eyes, trying to hold back tears as he pressed himself closer, not wanting to let go. He breathed out, nearly choking. “Jinyoung-hyung, you are okay. Thank you for coming back.” The older one broke the hug, his eyes suspiciously reddened as he shook his head with a tired smile. Jinyoung took a deep breath, his face a grim mask again as he got up and pulled Yugyeom along. “Gyeom, we need to leave, now. They will be here soon. Grab anything you need and meet me by the closest fence from your house in ten minutes. Go!” With that, Jinyoung jumped through the window leaving a gaping and confused Yugyeom behind. It took him several seconds to push all the questions in his mind down and just act. Less than ten minutes later, he had arrived at the location, a light backpack on his back with hopefully everything he would need for Jinyoung’s secret excursion. Yugyeom was only halfway surprised, when a grinning Youngjae and a sulking BamBam were waiting not far from the fence he was supposed to meet up with Jinyoung at.

“Guys?” Two heads snapped into his direction, comforting smiles welcoming him as Youngjae told Jinyoung that Yugyeom had arrived. The oldest was busy with the fence, placing four little devices in a rectangular shape big enough for a person to stand between comfortably. He jumped the marked space, making the three boys gasp in shock. It was not just prohibited to get too close to the safety fence around their sector it was also an electric fence, sending high voltage through the wires woven into it, certain death for any human. Jinyoung wasn’t electrocuted or even showing any signs of a shock as he reached the upper part of the fence, getting rid of the barbed wire there. In less than a minute he was done and over the fence before any of them could question his actions. Jinyoung stared at them through the fence before he sighed with a light smile on his lips. “Kids, come on. I can’t carry all of you over the fence.” Youngjae didn’t hesitate, shrugging his shoulders at his friends before he jumped the fence at the same spot Jinyoung did. He was up and over it soon, BamBam following next. Yugyeom felt weird as it was his turn.

He had lived his whole life behind this fence, always told that only death and horror lived behind it. And now he was climbing it and jumping over it as if it was just the simple garden fence of their neighbors. Jinyoung squeezed Yugyeom’s shoulder quickly before he clapped him on the back, signalling with his head for all of them to follow him through the night. The trek was long and arduous as they used the thicket for most parts. BamBam whined when his jacket was caught by a thorny bush, ripping it. He was not happy with Jinyong taping it back into place with a “See, like new.”. They must have been going for hours when Yugyeom couldn’t wait anymore. “Hyung, where are we going? Where have you been all this time? And Jaebeom-hyung…” Jinyoung shook his head, dismissing most of his questions: “Not now. We need to be attentive. Jaebeom is fine, you will see him soon.” Yugyeom felt like he was holding back more than they could imagine, so he trekked along faster, hoping that they would reach their goal soon, too curious.

“Bam, what’s wrong?” Yugyeom wanted to let himself fall behind a little to join his still sulking best friend, when Youngjae appeared as well, his eyes twinkling. “What?” Yugyeom was feeling oblivious, being left out of. Youngjae waved him off: “Oh, nothing. Bammie is just being childish. Jinyoung picked him up first and he nearly fainted, screeching like an elementary school girl. So, he is just embarrassed.” Yugyeom suppressed a laugh at the picture in his head. “You okay, Bam?” The other hissed at them: “Shut up, you hyenas! You would have been just as scared if you went for a glass of water in the middle of the night, just to be grabbed from behind with a sack over your head! He did that on purpose, probably still salty because I used his quiver to collect berries over two years ago!”

Jinyoung could hear them clearly as he hissed back: “It was made out of black boar leather! Do you know how hard it is to find a black boar? And now it looks like someone bled all over it because of your berries!” BamBam yelled back, when there was rustling from the direction they were headed. Without another word, Jinyoung turned around in a flash and had an arrow at the ready before any of the others could pull their weapons. “Kids, get behind me.” Instead of hiding behind the older one, Yugyeom and the other two flanked him, ready to defend themselves. There was another rustling and then someone cursing. Jinyoung’s tense body relaxed, his bow lowered again. “False alert, let’s go.” He walked towards the noise when Jaebeom and Jackson came out of the thicket. Yugyeom was shocked, Youngjae pulled his sword as well instead of hurrying to his brother’s side.

BamBam had three knives out before Yugyeom was flanked by his friends, staring at Jackson Wang, the commander of the military. “What the hell is he doing here? Do you know who he is, Jinyoung-hyung? He belongs to them.” The memory of an elevator flashed through his mind, a grinning grimace as he was offered fake wishes of condolences. For his brother. And through all of that Jackson Wang had just stood aside, doing nothing to help or stop all the cruelty. It had not taken them long to realize that all of the misgivings of the past days had been a long-winded and well-planned plan by people they could never reach from their positions. Yugyeom was ready to swing at Jackson, when Jaebeom stepped in front of him, staring Yugyeom down. “Don’t, Gyeom-ah. He is one of us and Jackson has been a huge help in the last few months, whatever you think of him was only a ruse as long as he stayed within their ranks. Jackson is not the commander or part of the military anymore. He helped us get in and out of the sectors without casualties these past months.” The three boys were hesitant. What if all of this was a trap and Jinyoung and Jaebeom were used to get them? To get information?

“Yugyeom-ah, please stop thinking of more conspiracies and theories. We have our hands full of them already. He- the leader will go crazy if we don’t show up soon. He gave us until the end of the night otherwise they would storm the sector without any reservations. Youngjae looked between all of them, before he lowered his weapon, sheaving his sword. “So, anyone wanna tell us what all of this is about? I am slowly getting suspicious that the three of you are part of a cult or something...leader? Seriously?” BamBam nodded, sighing: “I thought I was the only one thinking of that. Please, Jaebeom-hyung, tell us you didn’t join some weirdos with blood oaths and sacrifice rituals.” Jinyoung blinked at them confusedly. “You are serious right now? Damn, Mark really didn’t tell any of you anything? Why we left? Why the whole sector was after my head suddenly?” He sighed heavily, before muttering to himself. Yugyeom’s skin was prickling at the way Jinyoung mentioned his brother so easily. It wasn’t Mark’s fault everything had gone that way. Nothing of this was. If he had kept something to himself, it was surely for the best.

“So, why did you leave?” Youngjae looked his older brother in the eyes and Yugyeom hadn’t missed how he still hadn’t hugged or even stepped closer to him after being apart for months, not knowing if either was even fine. Yugyeom knew that things were amiss between the brothers and Youngjae couldn’t just forget how he had been abandoned just like that and was now picked up again like a pet one didn’t want until they started to miss it. He was still hurt and Jaebeom had made no effort to explain or even apologize yet. It was as if the elder followed the same trail of thoughts, taking a step forward. “Jae-ah. I-” The younger shook his head, taking a deep breath: “No, I think there are more important things to know than you apologizing, because I stand in front of you now. So?” Jaebeom grinded his teeth at the disrespectful tone even though he knew his younger brother had every right to judge him after all. He shook off the bitterness, asking the others to follow him. “We will talk on the way, okay? I don’t wanna cause a bloodbath just because we are late. So, first of all: Jackson. You have met him by now as the commander and important person within the military, right?”

Yugyeom looked down, unwillingly putting his bat into the holster on his back. BamBam nodded: “Yeah, was really not the best first impression, sorry. He only turned up when everything was already fu-” Jinyoung hit him on the back of his head, hissing: “Language, Bam-ah.” The other groaned in answer. “So, we can trust you?” Yugyeom realized how foolish it sounded as the words were out but he couldn’t help the hurt flashing over Jinyoung’s face or the shock on Jaebeom’s. It was Jaebeom, who cleared his throat and nodded, sounding dead serious:

“Yes, Yugyeom. You can trust us, nothing has changed between us and we are still who we are.” Jinyoung didn’t say anything as he walked faster, leaving the others to follow him. The rest of the trekking was slow due to the uneven terrain. Jaebeom kept talking through it to get as many things cleared up as possible. BamBam asked twice about the so-called ‘leader’ they had mentioned before but Jackson, Jaebeom and Jinyoung all remained silent about the mysterious person making the younger three nervous of what was coming next. “We are here, I will go first and tell him you are here, go rest and we can talk later.” Jinyoung was gone before any of them could reply, sliding into the shadows behind the door of an old building. It reminded Yugyeom of what was pictured in their history books as ruins and old historic places.

A high building with a triangle shaped roof and many beautiful and mostly destroyed colorful windows. “Is this a church?” Youngjae was looking up as well, mesmerized by the foreign building in front of them. What else was out there, they had never seen with their own eyes? Was there really more than they always thought possible? Jackson was the one who answered, surprising the Yugyeom and his friends. He shook his head, a small smile on his face. “No, this is no usual church, it’s called a cathedral. It’s even more beautiful inside but there is unfortunately not much left of its decorations now. Without another word, they headed for the wide front doors although Jinyoung had taken the smaller door on the side. Where was that door headed to then? Yugyeom had difficulties with not letting his mouth hang open at the sight inside. It was unbelievable. There was no such a thing in any of the sectors for sure since all buildings were built to be practical and useful.

Why had he never asked himself if it was any different before? He had been so young when Zeta broke out and everything had changed at once. A child was too focused on its own little world to care about its surroundings and any kind of beauty beyond its understanding. Youngjae was barely a year older, surely just as stuck on their new surroundings. BamBam on the other hand was as vocal as ever, wowing and walking towards anything that caught his eye. He let out a whistle as it echoed through the high roof and the walls of the inner gardens. There weren’t any colorful flowers or anything left but they could all imagine the beauty it once held within these outer walls. “Beautiful, right? I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen something this...pure after all these years behind the fences. Mark and I came across many old buildings but nothing comes close to this beauty.” Jaebeom’s eyes sparkled as he led them further inside.

They were led through another door, smaller than the outer one but just as old and worn. The wood must have been massive once but now it was only a shadow of itself as splinters hang off any visible surface. There were steps coming towards them, when Jinyoung stopped a few feet away from them, signing Jaebeom towards him. The other frowned before he excused himself. “Jackson, can you take them to the empty room for three? I am pretty sure they want to stay together for now, this is stranger’s land to them. I- I am needed, I will see you all later?” There was a question at the end as he carefully glanced at Youngjae sideways. The younger sighed, nodding before he followed Jackson with the others. They could hear Jaebeom and Jinyoung discussing quietly, only whispers and hissing could be heard as arguments were probably made.

“So, this is your room...we don’t have much better to offer right now. I am sharing a room with three of my sol- people. With the only three left of my unit. I- honestly I don’t know what to say, this is all new to me as well, I arrived here only three weeks ago and it’s really different...I am really sorry.” The last sentence must have been directed towards Yugyeom but he was looking away. Yugyeom couldn’t really make anything out of Jackson Wang. He was nice and amiable as a person even more than most he had met in Sector B his whole life. Still, this man was inevitably connected to the worst pain and memories he held in his heart. Jackson’s face was pain. His politeness and kind demeanor were hurt. He couldn’t face the man even after months and time to cope with everything. It was just too much. And the worst was he knew that Jackson knew this as well. He hadn’t tried to contact him again after they had parted ways outside of the pathology.

He had just left and Jackson had stayed, both busy with their own life and pain. Yugyeom was no fool to believe Mark and Jackson were barely acquainted with the way they had names for each other and Jackson had been the one to accompany him to the military base personally in his position. He couldn’t forget the hesitant and nervous way he had asked about Mark ever mentioning. The way his eyes had flickered at Yugyeom’s answers. No, this man had been a part of his brother’s life he had never gotten to know. Yugyeom had a lot of time in the house to think about everything and pick out details. He had a great memory even if everything had not been burned into his mind anyways. It didn’t take long to realize that Mark’s life the way Yugyeom knew him was only a part of it. His brother had always been regarded highly by anyone he had met or talked to and he had just taken it as it was not really questioning the background. Why had Mark seemed like an idol?

What had he done for the people? What had he done to be taken down so cruelly, fast and unjust by the most powerful man in their sector? He could clearly remember Bang and the other men looking nearly smug and satisfied at the proclamation of his brother’s demise. Like they had pulled out an annoying thorn from a wound. Mark had antagonized them in some way but Yugyeom had no way to find out how or why. He blinked suddenly, the realization dawning on him. “Jackson.” The man flinched at the tone, turning around as he had been about to leave. His voice was hesitant: “Yes?” He would know, right? Jackson Wang was influential, powerful and in the middle of everything. Could it even have been Mark who had sent him to Yugyeom in the hope the other could help his brother? “My brother-” It was as if Yugyeom had punched him with the way Jackson stumbled back two steps, pale. Yugyeom stopped and the other took the chance to flee with a shake of his head and murmured sorrys as he ran down the halls.

“Wow, one might think you were about to ask him about  _ his  _ most important person’s death, weird.” BamBam was sitting cross legged on one of the beds he had claimed as his, his backpack emptied in front of him. Youngjae was blinking at the now empty door, nodding. “Yeah, really weird. Were they close?” Yugyeom didn’t know how to answer that, so he just shrugged, grabbing his own backpack. “We should talk about this whole...situation we are in now, not the past.” The other two nodded sympathetically at him, dropping the topic at once.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Yugyeom was heaving hard. His knuckles felt bruised from the impact just now. They would probably swell and redden soon but right now he was livid, not caring about anything at all. A few people had jumped from their seats at the young boy attacking one of them, chaotic and yelling at others to grab Yugyeom at once. To their surprise it was their leader, the man Yugyeom had just punched with every inch of strength pulsing through his veins, who stopped them by hitting the old wooden table hard with his hand, making everyone go quiet at once. Yugyeom chuckled at the authority this man held in these rooms when he knew him so much different. Introverted, quiet, easy to enrage. Not as the leader of the apparently biggest group rebelling against the government of the sectors.

The leader. Mark Tuan. _His brother._ His brother Mark, who he had seen lying dead on a metal table not too long ago. Cold and lifeless as he had broken down in front of him. His brother, who he had mourned for weeks and months, maybe still was in his heart. His brother, who was not dead but standing in front of him in his usual Guardian gear and uniform, flanked by Jaebeom and Jinyoung, who were looking away now, unable to face Yugyeom and his wrath. He was still furious, the punch hadn’t been enough to make the blood in his ears stop rushing or the tenseness in his body dying down after nearly 24hours of no sleep or rest. Yugyeom felt alive, mad and hungry for blood and revenge. He had suffered for months and no one had told him the truth. He had been betrayed by all of them the whole time. “Jinyoung- _ hyung _ -” He didn’t know why he was turning to Jinyoung right now but he was so angry and just confused.

This was his family. Mark, Jaebeom, Jinyoung and Youngjae and BamBam, the two trying to get to him at the moment, stopped by other people around them. Yugyeom knew instinctively, that they were surrounded, they were outnumbered. These people- “Touch him and you will be exiled this instant by me. This goes for anyone.” Yugyeom wanted to cower and step back like the others around him as everything fell into obedience and agreement at the words. The authority behind these words was as heavy as he remembered his brother using only in extreme situations. The depth of his voice underlining the seriousness and threat behind it. This was the voice of a true leader. But he couldn’t care less.

Yugyeom wanted to yell, to scream and attack him again, fight it out, brawl like they had once done when he was fourteen but he couldn’t move. All of his strength was gone with the punch, leaving his legs shaky. What was he supposed to say? What should he do? Mark, Mark was alive and he felt the weight of those words at once, his legs finally giving in. Mark was about to round the corner of the wide table, face pale and pain stricken, when a pair of arms grabbed Yugyeom from behind already, slowing his fall with surprising strength. Yugyeom fell against the firm body as Jackson straightened him as best as he could to let him seem strong and not as fragile as he felt under all those pairs of eyes. “Gyeom-ah, I-” It was the second time this day the leader was interrupted but this time it was Jackson, who faced him with a grimace. “Excuse me, leader. But I think what the boy needs right now is rest. I will bring him to his room if the meeting is over?”

Yugyeom could hear the defiant tone in Jackson’s voice. Surely the remnant of his years as a commander and he was sure the man would just drag him off even if Mark didn’t allow to but his brother sighed, his eyes saddened as he nodded once and turned away. Jaebeom was by his side right away, Jinyoung still hesitating as Jackson was already pulling Yugyeom out of the room. The youngest felt suffocated but thankful to Jackson more than anything. He was overwhelmed and helpless faced with his own actions and fears, so he had saved him from whatever pathetic words would have fallen from his lips next by intervening and even catching him when no one else had. Yugyeom took a deep breath, putting more strength into his legs as he whispered hoarsely: “Thank you.” The tired smile on Jackson’s face highlighted the few scars on his face and neck Yugyeom hadn’t seen before. He could have sworn the commander’s face had been flawless only a few months ago…

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“How are you feeling?” Jackson had brought him a glass of water, hesitatingly taking a seat on the edge of Yugyeom’s bed. “The worst.” He snorted in reply before he chuckled darkly: “Oh, no. Wait. I think I felt the worst three months ago in that pathology but I guess that’s invaöid since the whole thing was a lie? Yep, I feel the worst now.” Jackson flinched at his words, before he shook his head seriously. “Don’t. Please don’t say that, Yugyeom-ah. Your feelings, the pain and hurt were no lies. Your loss wasn’t. It was all genuine, no matter if Mark is alive now. He was dead to you for the past three months. You were completely alone with all of that.” Yugyeom felt the words hit his core as he choked on his own sarcastic reply. Jackson was right, he had been completely alone with all of that pain and loss. No one could comfort him or even tell what he was going through as he stayed quiet mostly. Hot tears ran down both sides of his face as he stared at the ceiling. Blurry.

“Yugyeom-ah, Yugyeom-ah. I am so sorry to have played a part in that but if I hadn’t...if I hadn’t brought Jinyoung’s poison for Mark to drink or carried out his body before they could check him a last time back then...they would have killed him. Bang isn’t someone who takes chances in anything. It was a close call anyways. You don’t know how scared I was. His body- he felt dead. It had taken days to get him to wake up and you know the first thing he had said when he opened his eyes?” Yugyeom tried to control his breathing, shaking his head at the ceiling, he was too embarrassed to look Jackson in the face. The other sighed, he might have even shaken his head. “It was your name. He kept on saying sorry and cried the whole first night until Jinyoung made him fall asleep. It had been so long I had seen Mark Tuan shed tears, I was shocked but I could understand why he was so sorry. I know you need time for everything.

Maybe even time to accept Mark back into your life but know that he never did it to hurt you purposely. We had no other options at that point. Risking dying from a poison was better for him than being tortured and maybe betraying everything he stood for. You know your brother. He would have rather taken a deadly poison than betray his own principles.” Jackson sighed once again as he fell silent. The both of them stayed like that for a few moments until Yugyeom could trust his voice again to not break miserably. “On that day, you had tried to tell me something. You said you were sorry and I thought it’s just some damn consolation because of my brother but that wasn’t it, right? It had stayed on my mind but I had just brushed it aside because of...everything. You had tried to tell me, no?”

Jackson laughed with a sad smile, when Yugyeom finally faced him. “No. I wouldn’t have told you but I am not as strong as Mark. I know what family means, I knew it would crush you if you lost your only family like that. I tried- honestly I don’t know what I was trying to tell you back then. Maybe I was trying to lessen the pain? Pathetic, huh? I don’t know Yugyeom. I am just like everyone else, following a bright man’s too dark shadow. You know Mark always lives like he carries the responsibility of the whole world on his shoulders. And maybe he is really what will overthrow everything and give the people their freedom back...but he makes mistakes too, you know? He will break if we are not there to lessen the burden even a little.” Yugyeom closed his eyes, letting the words sink in before he answered again. Should he just forgive his brother? Mark had always been living for others, putting everyone before himself. Hadn’t he suffered enough already?

“Hey, I am not telling you to go back there and hug him like nothing happened. I just wanted you to know these things because honestly Mark sucks at communication no matter what the others say. He is the worst at putting his feelings into words, trust me I have first-hand experience. Just don’t that famous anger of you brothers cloud your judgement, okay? Because, if you forgive Mark or not, you can’t go back to the sector and this thing is bigger than both us or even Mark himself. This is our silver lining.”

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“I want to talk to your leader.” Yugyeom was standing in front of Mark’s office, when two men stopped him. They were looking suspiciously at him, glancing at Youngjae and BamBam, who were more than ready to defend their best friend if needed. The guards held back, nodding at Yugyeom disapprovingly: “You can enter but only you. The other two need to stay outside.” Yugyeom glanced back at his friends, who both nodded. They would be fine and he...well, it was Mark-hyung, right? With that he was standing in a middle-sized room that was probably an office room even before. Now maps, notes and papers were lying everywhere except for the entrance area. Behind an open and marked map, hands full of papers was a serious looking Mark sitting.

Yugyeom stayed where he had entered after two steps, hesitating. Should he make him look up? Call out to him? Would Mark even react by being called ‘Hyung’ anymore? The thought stung more than Yugyeom would have wished. How could all the pain and trauma he had tried so hard to bury and burn inside of him be out and ignited just in a few hours? It had taken him months just to be able to close his eyes at night and not wish for them to not open in the morning because he was feeling so broken. Mark must have felt his presence because his body stiffened at once, his hands trembling slightly and still he was not looking up. Yugyeom frowned, forgetting his own reservations just now. Was Mark...scared? His brother, who never showed any ounce of fear even when fighting to death?

Yugyeom shook his head, sighing: “You could at least look at me, don’t you think? I mean it’s been a while and the last time we saw each other was not...not something I wish to remember honestly. But here we are, right Hyung?” He could see his brother flinching at the last word like he had been burned by it. It took Mark another minute of closing his eyes and breathing deeply before he finally looked up. His eyes were red rimmed, his left cheek reddened and even slightly swollen from the punch not even three hours ago. “Gyeom-ah.” And maybe it was the tone drowning in longing and sadness or maybe Yugyeom was too tired of everything but he couldn’t stop a single tear from leaving his eye. He had missed this. He had missed his brother so much it was painful.

Mark’s face paled at the sight of the tear rolling down his little brother’s cheek and this time he didn’t hesitate as he rounded the table to take him into his arms in three long strides. Yugyeom could hear the relieved sigh, when he returned the hug, burying his face into his brother’s shoulder, how own shoulders shaking. Yugyeom knew that everything was not perfect or even forgiven. He knew they would need time to heal and figure everything else out but he knew that Mark knew as well and for now that was enough for him. He had his brother back and that was all he could think of as he pressed them together even more. _He wasn’t lonely anymore._

**Fin...?**

  
  



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